Poisonous Pleasure

Chapter Seven

It was still as it was deadly.

Drip Drop, like a broken record.

Salt on her chapped lips, she could almost taste the blood.

Hours?, Days?, How long had it been?.

She was stuck in her own delirium.

She wished she had dreamt it all but the scar on her forehead was a dwindling reminder.

She was supposed to be dead.

••••••••

"Aida said you haven't had breakfast yet?."

"I am not hungry".

"Clèmence, please. I am trying to understand. Please make me understand. What's going on". Carla pleaded with such sincerity, it broke her heart.

She stood at the threshold. Not even daring to take a step into the room. It could be perceived, she was frightened. Clèmence felt her heart clench, she was not worthy of such genuine care or compassion.

"Forgive me". She looked down at her pale hands, her solemn eyes tracing the intricate patterns of her palms," I want to understand myself. I want to know. But-", She hiccuped", My head wants to forget but I can't. The inadequacy kills me to my soul".

"The doctor said it would come in time."

Carla dared to walk into the room, quite tentatively, like a little scared bird, almost waiting for an outburst or worse; an attack. Her eyes held compassion, but also pity. It was shameful to look her in the eyes. All she saw was pity. She wanted anything but that.

"Don't fucking pity me!. I didn't want to go anywhere!. It is because of you I can't remember anything", Clèmence heaved, her breaths coming out hot and fast, she could feel her blood ringing. "This is all your fault".

Carla let out a loud sob, she circled her arms around herself like a little child being rebuffed,"Please forgive me--".

"Forgive you?!",Clèmence all but got up from where she was sitted."I was missing for two days!. Two fucking days. Mon Dieu, I could have been dead but all you cared about was fucking your way to Timbuktu".

"That's not true!", Carla's word came out choked, as if it hurt her to breathe, Clèmence knew she was asthmatic but she didn't give a damn.
She wanted her to hurt, like she was hurt inside. Feel the void that she felt. the nothingness.

"I haven't been able to sleep for the past four day. Do you know that?".

The silence she got negated her answer. "I can't close my eyes at night, it hurts to even think of sleeping. I feel so hollow inside. I don't know what happened to me".

Clèmence laughed but it came out as weak and pitiful as she felt,"I feel like I'm alive".She let out a soft sigh."I'm alive but I am dead, and I pray you never have this feeling because it would slowly eat at your insides, until you start questioning everything that was sane to you before".

"The doctor said it would come back to you. He said we should give it time. I don't know anything anymore. I just-",She breathed harshly, her face turning red. Clèmence knew she needed to go use her inhaler. She didn't want her to have an attack; well not in the real sense.

"Just leave, Carla".

••••••••••••

Clèmence watched on at the hustle bustle in the shop. They were sorting out the flower arrangements for a wedding, She didn't really know about the details neither did she care.