Alana's List (An Epistolary)

107

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[ Alana's Diary ]

Hi, I am Alana. I was on my school earlier but I fainted during our PE time. Nagising nalang ako sa isang hospital and both of my parents are worried about my condition. Hindi ko alam kung para saan but I saw them crying, even my sister, Aurora and my bother, Kuya Eucid are asking if I'm fine.

I don't get what are those worries for not until the doctor told me that I have a heart disease. He told me that my heart needs to be in a good condition and I need to stay healthy. Sumunod ako sa kanya kasi sabi ni Mommy ko, kung gusto ko daw gumaling at makipag play sa friends ko, kailangan kong sundin ang doctor ko.

I am friends with Zuri and Angelo, he preferred being called Angela since he's gay but I am sanay with his name. We were good friends, dahil bawal ako lumabas at mapagod, kada after school nila, pinupuntahan nila ako para mag-kwento ng nangyayari sa school.

I really wanted to go with them too. It looks fun. Nakalimutan ko na yata ang pakiramdam ng nasa school kasi sobrang bata ko pa ng natigil ako kasi nakakapagod lang daw iyon. During my check ups, my doctor would always give me lots of medicine. I hate it, ang dami kong iniinom.

And one time, my doctor asked me about my wishes and dreams for life. I told him that I want to be doctor too, kagaya niya. I want to take care of the kids in my age that is ill too. It made him happy thinking I adore him, and I am happy about it too. But before anything else, he told me that I need to survive my upcoming surgery.

Ang sabi ni Daddy ko, ang surgery daw na iyon ay may chance na gumaling ako and pwede na akong mag play and pumunta sa school with my friends. I agreed with it and my Mommy told me that I need to be strong. I remember my Kuya Eucid would always give me a glass of milk everytime. Si Aurora naman, mataray but I know she cares for me, para ko na siyang Ate but we still have the same age.

Kapag wala 'yung friends ko, siya ang pumapayag na maka-laro ako. Ayaw rin niya na may umaaway sa akin. She even told me that our parents named us just like princesses, sabi ko wala namang may name na Alana but we watched cartoons and I saw the "Elena of Avalor" and I considered it as mines since Aurora is for sleeping beauty.

My doctor gave me a paper with printed numbers up to five. He told me that I should list down the things I wanted to do before, after and even in future. Ang sabi niya ay mag-kakatotoo raw iyon so I am so excited to fill it.

I only wrote my wishes up to four so I have one remaining. The operation was successful and I can now go to school! I was so happy about it.

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It's been a while since I wrote here in my diary but I wanted to tell this to someone. I'm in my first year highschool and I have a classmate, he's name is Atreus Graciano. He's so mysterious to others and we barely notice him. Matalino siya but the whole class knew him as "The guy early for second subject"

It was on saturday when our family went out to eat and I thought I saw him when our car stopped to refill the gas. He's on the gasoline station, I thought it's impossible but It looks like him, besides, he's too young to have that job.

I asked my friends about that but they thought I was mistaken. But on sunday that week also, after my family went to church, my friends asked me if we can hang out. We decided to have a stay at Starbucks, nauna ako roon and I was surprised when I saw Atreus there. This time, I know that I wasn't mistaken since his name was on the name plate.

I suddenly thought that it's maybe uncomfortable for him to work on a place where we're going to dine and hang out so I persuaded my friends to stay at Coffee Bay. At first, ayaw nila since that shop was so exquisite but I'm happy they agreed. Wala rin naman masyadong tao roon.

Pauwi na kami at inabot na rin kami ng gabi. Pinauna ko na ang mga kaibigan ko kasi malakas ang ulan that time and it's running late. Baka pagalitan sila nina Tito, as much as I wanted them to ride on my father's car who's still on the way to fetch me up, I also wanted them to come home early. Ayaw pa nga nila akong iwan kasi wala pa si Daddy pero sinabi ko sa kanila na papunta na siya.

While waiting for my father, I saw Atreus. Lumabas ito sa Starbucks but I don't think his duty already ended. Malakas ang ulan kaya nagulat ako ng mag-iwas siya ng payong sa waiting shed, I'm quite confused but I decided to get it.

Ilang oras pa akong nag-intay dahil natagalan si Daddy, gabi na and I suddenly thought of Atreus. If he left his umbrella, then siya ang mababasa. Sakto namang dumating na si Daddy that time so I asked him if he can get Atreus' number on the Starbucks, maybe I can text him about it since wala na siya roon.

I'm quite surprised that he had a telegram. I learned his situation and I am so eager to be friends with him. I suddenly thought of the paper that my doctor gave me, hindi ko alam but that time, in that age, I still believed on what my doctor told me so I wrote down my last wish.

I know I'm annoying Atreus but I noticed that he's getting used to it. Not until I really did crossed the line. He told me to stop already. I was on the restroom that time, nag-paalam pa ako sa friends ko na sasaglit lang ako roon. I don't know what happened but when we're talking, my heart ached. Sumisikip ang dibdib ko at nawawalan ako ng hininga.

And then the nostalgic feeling crept inside me when I opened my eyes and I was greeted by the familiar scent of hospital. I tried to act normal after that, but things really are going complicated when you thought it was fine.

I just realized that I like Atreus, no, I love him. He's the first person who made me feel the unfamiliar things I just felt.

But that's when my doctor announced that my heart condition worsened. I don't know what to do anymore, I was frustrated. And then I decided to avoid everyone thinking it will be okay.

Just now, I just realized that I need to talk to them. Today is Western Sahara's Nights. We will perform on plaza, the dance troupe, the bands, and the other clubs.