My Superstar Stalker

Human Journal

"I really don't need your help with school stuff, you know." she started the conversation after being terribly quiet for an hour.

"I figured." I said while reading my notes on History subject. She laughed.

"Then why did you let me snatch you away from your house?"

"I told you, you're too cute to resist." I said nonchalantly.

I got surprised when she pinned me down on her bed. There's something about her facial expression that I don't understand.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

No one dared to make any noise. I can hear her faint heartbeats.

"If you're just teasing, tell me, okay? I don't want to get the wrong idea. I mean, you know that I'm crazy about you and saying those kind of words makes me wanna..." she paused and stared at my lips. She slowly leaned forward and shut her eyes. She has a perfect pair of eyelids..I bet her eyelashes are longer than mine, and.. her lips are moist, so inviting, Closer.. Closer..

"I am not teasing you." she retreated when she heard me.

"What do you mean? You're being serious about that?" her eyes sparkled a bit.

"Yeah. But-"

"But?"

I sighed.

"I said that because I meant it. You're really cute. But, I don't have any reason for saying such beside that. I'm sorry." she got off me and we both sat beside each other on the soft carpet she has around her room.

Few minutes passed and we're still not talking.

"At first, I thought you're just playing with me, but believe me, I didn't mind. I am not capable of returning any special feelings, specially when someone confesses their love to me. I don't know why or how I ended up being like this. I admit that when I read your text messages that day, I kind of forced myself to feel anything. You're everybody's eye candy, you know? Who wouldn't like you? Unfortunately, I didn't. So I tried to ignore you." when I turned to look at her, I caught her staring at the moon which glows perfectly outside her window. She's really pretty.

"The reason why I let you do those things to me is because I am still trying to find anything here." I said and pointed at my heart.

"So..You mean, you'll let me do whatever I want to you until you find whatever it is?" she asked.

"Kinda."

Her expression puzzled me.

"What if-what if after everything, you didn't find anything there? What would you do with me?" she sounded hurt and tears are starting to form on her eyes.

"Hey, don't cry. I am sorry. I'm just being honest." I don't know what to say.

She sniffed.

"I didn't want you to think that I am capable of..loving someone." Is that the right thing to say right now, G'naa? Really?

"I understand. I like it this way, too." I didn't know if it's genuine but she smiled as if nothing happened.

"What do you mean?" I can't help but ask.

"I mean, I love showing you how much I like you. It's a whole new different thing for me. I love exploring things." she giggled.

I slowly nodded, still confused.

"Come on, let's study."

"Alright."

~~~

I slept in the guest room which is two rooms away from hers. I thought about the conversation we had earlier when I felt the need to drink water. I made my way to the long hallway down to the kitchen. This house is so big you can get lost by just wandering it. I found the fridge and checked to see if there's anything to drink. G'naa, you're obviously stealing! A glass won't hurt. I shrugged and gulped the iced cold water when something caught my eye. It's Mook, sitting on the grass and staring at nothing at the garden. It looks like she's in deep thought. Will it be okay if I approach her?

"Can't sleep?" I asked. She didn't flinch so I thought my stealth mode didn't work.

"Yeah." she answered without looking at me.

"Fancy a glass of milk?"

She turned around to face me and smiled.

"I would love that. Thank you." I gave it to her then she slowly sipped from the glass.

I sat beside her.

"I didn't expect you to be here at this time of night." I glanced at her. How can someone look so divine just by staring at something?

"Acting isn't my choice, you know." she chuckled bitterly. "You see, since I was a child, my parents used to bring me to a lot of auditions. They said that I'll be the one who will give our family honor."

I like listening to her life stories and I feel like I am her human journal right now. But unlike her, I have a choice. My parents also want me to become the person who I want to be.

"I want to travel the world and become a photographer. Silly, right?" she chuckled bitterly.

"No, it's not."

She looked at my hand. I offered it to her and she immediately held it.

"When I am with you, it's the only time that I can feel that I am in a safe place. I ain't afraid to show you my real self." I felt her head on my shoulder.

"Just be you. You're way better than the Mook who we see on T.V screen." I said and gently played with her hair with my other hand.

"Will you stay with me till you find out what you're looking for?" she asked.

"Fine with me." I think that that's the best answer to give her..for now.

I don't understand but there is something in her...I want to protect this vulnerable, precious girl. But how?

~~~

"G'naa!" I heard Nanae called. She's so loud. This girl might've swallowed a microphone when she was young.

"What is it?"

"Did you know?" she said while catching for her breath. She ran, obviously.

"Know what?" I asked, half annoyed.

"Mooky will transfer to another school!"

She will what?

~~~