If Guns Can Cry

06

Worthless Sacrifice

Endure. Endure. Endure. This is the only thing that has been going on my mind.

I haven't been able to sleep since earlier. My companions here are already snoring loudly. I think, they're already comfortable in this place. But as for me, I'm still having a hard time adjusting to this place. I'm not comfortable. The mattress is uncomfortable too. I think there are insects here as well.

I wore of my Balenciaga hoodie and my chanel cap. I can't sleep, wandering around could help me. Dinadahan-dahan ko lang ang bawat pag galaw ko, not to wake up everybody here.

I sat Infront of the barracks. Nasa front kasi nito ang field na. I think it's already late midnight that's why nobody is around.

I can't even use my cellphone... This will be the hard thing to adjust. I don't have updates anymore about what's going on in the world.

I fixed my eyes at Yndra when I saw her walking towards the field. She's wearing a cargo pants and a white camisole.

Wala naman akong magawa kaya pinagmasdan ko nalang siya. Hindi pa ako nakuntento, lumapit ako at umupo sa damo. Hindi naman niya ako siguro mahahalata?

Is she always doing trainings late this night?

Kaya ba may abs siya?

Hindi ko alam na matagal na pala akong nandito... All I did was to admire her from afar. I don't even know why I'm admiring her!

"I know you're there." Umupo siya sa malapit na benches habang pawisan.

Napakagat ako ng labi. Hindi na ako umangal pa. Napaupo na rin ako sa tabi niya.

"You should be in your barracks, sleeping."

"I-I'm lost!" Buwelta ko. "I just can't sleep, okay? Malay ko ba na may pa-show off ka diyan." Umirap ako.

"Matulog ka na." Utos niya.

Pinupunasan na niya ang mga pawis niya.

I held myself and took a deep breath. "Can I borrow your phone for a second? Please?"

Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin.

"Fine! I just can't sleep, okay? Nagcecellphone kasi ako para makatulog."

"I don't care. Mag-adjust ka."

As always. She's cold and doesn't have a heart... But I understand. Nasa brain ko parin ang mga advices ni Tito sa'kin. I need to adjust and to follow my superior's orders.

The next day, we lined up at the field while the sun is heating. Hindi ko kayang magreklamo. I noticed naman sa paligid na kaya ng mga companions ko na magbilad sa ilalim ng sun. Nakakahiya siguro 'pag ako lang ang nagreklamo!

"Miss Soldevilla, as part of our protocol, we need to trim your hair as part of the rules."

Natatagalan na kami dito kasi ayaw ko talaga.

I flipped my hair dramatically "Excuse me? You want to cut my hair? Do you know how long it takes to get it to look this perfect? This is Gucci, not some average girl off the street!"

I'm always been a stylish young woman.

The officer is trying to keep his composure "I understand, but this is a security measure. It’s not about the style; it's about the rules."

"Safety and rules? My hair is perfectly safe, thank you very much. I have spent years and a fortune on this mane. If you think I’m going to let anyone near it with scissors, you're out of your mind!"