helpless. Ethan nestor fan fiction

-6-

TW: panic attacks and throwing up.

Maybe Ethan was just having coffee with a friend. On another note the stream went well i won and schlatt got salty he didn't win. I told him to learn how to use a wii remote but he never listens. I really had nothing to do and it was only 4 so quickly decide to call Amy.
"Hey Amy how are you?"
"I'm good Y/N why'd you call?"
"I'm bored and Ethans having coffee with someone so i was wondering if i could go over and hangout with you guys."
"Oh of course Y/N your always welcome, come by soon."
She hung up the phone. I put my face in my hands staying the for awhile rocking back and forth trying to calm myself down. I don't know why my anxiety was starting to act up. Had i forgotten to take my meds? Maybe, If so i should just wait to take them.

I get up and look myself in the mirror. Whens the last time i ate? i didn't know and it didn't really matter anyway. My schlatt hoodie went all the way down to my knees it looked cute though so i kept it on and just threw on some black jeans and some black converse.

I threw my hair up in a ponytail on my way out of the house. i got in my car and started driving over to amy's house. I got to amy's house and i open the door. The smell of vanilla hit my nose, their house always smelled nice. The smell of vanilla and seeing how clean the house is, it was very welcoming. I walk down the steps and into the living room. Mark had his arms around Amy while his other hand was petting chica. Amy's gaze was stuck on the tv trying to focus on animal crossing. I sit down right next to chica and i start petting her. *buzz* *buzz* *buzz* I pick up my phone Ethan was calling me, i roll my eyes and pick up.

"hello?"
"hey y/n where are you?"
"i'm just at marks place why?"
"i'm going over there i have something to show you" i hear giggles from Ethan and an Unfamiliar voice.
" okay well i'm gonna head over to the store before you get here. want anything?" i said really not knowing my tone was bitchy.
" uhm sure can you get me a pink monster and an arizona mango tea?"
"sure."
i hung up the phone and grabbed my keys. i asked amy and mark if they wanted anything they politely declined and i left. I got to my car and immediately burst into tears. Who was that girl? Was it his girlfriend?
i hadn't even gotten out of driveway and i already cried my eyeliner off. I honestly didnt care and just started to drive to the store.

-time skip to when y/n gets back to marks-
I quickly redo my eyeliner. No one would be able to tell that i was crying. Ethan was already here. i walked into the door prepared for the worse.
"Hey y/n!" Ethan jumped up and came to give me a hug i politely declined and went and sat down on the couch handing everyone their drinks. I had gotten myself the red monster it was clearly the best one. i handed the tea to ethan and pulled out the pink monster. Someone grabbed it outta my hand and immediately opened it. "Who the fuck jus-" i had just realized there was a girl next to Ethan. Her hair was about as long as mine but it was brown, she had the most ugly glasses on. She looked like harry potter. "who's this." i asked in a very bitchy tone. Mark and Amy looked away like they knew i'd get upset. "Y/n this is Ellie my girlfriend."
girlfriend? holy shit. what.
I held my tears back as i introduced myself
" hey i'm y/n it's nice to meet you."
" hi!" "that's a really pretty name i love it"
She sounded very excited to meet me. I could tell she was a very hyper person. " i really like your septum piercing it's a very nice green color" she had a huge smile plastered on her face. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

We turned on American Horror Story and started watching season 1. I had told Amy i had a little crush on Ethan so maybe that's why she has such a disappointing look on her face.
"Oooo Evan Peters" i said this while blushing harshly
"Omg shut up about Evan Peters you say that everytime he comes on the screen." Ellie said while letting out a big sigh. She glared at me trying to stay serious but i could see her smile behind her acting. Eventually we broke the silence by letting out laughs cause we couldnt hold ourselves together.

My breath started to get shaky and my hands started burning up and going numb. great. I was starting to have an panic attack. I tried to calm myself down by shaking my leg but nothing worked. I looked over at Ethan, His arm was around her, they were so close together, his hand on her thigh. They looked at each other and giggled. I felt myself starting to grow nauseous i knew i was going to throw up. I quickly put down my monster down and run to the bathroom. I could hear a faint "Y/N?" from behind me. I ignored it and kept running.
I reached the bathroom, i immediately leaned over the toilet and throw up. It felt like my insides were turning upside down.

Amy and Mark rushed into the bathroom. I was curled up into a ball on the bathroom floor. Tears kept falling out of my eyes and i could barely breath.
"Y/N hey what's wrong talk to me." Amy cupped my face with her hands.
"E-Ethan." " He's with her. i don't care if i just met him im attached to him."
My whole body was shaking, Tears were uncontrollably running down my face.
I couldn't stand seeing him with her i cant.

I leaned over the toilet and threw up once more. Amy got me some water and i was starting to calm down. I was still curled up in a ball but mark was rubbing my back trying to calm me down and it was working. "when did they meet?"
"today y/n." Amy sounded tired.
"fucking christ today? he's rlly desperate huh?" I said this trying to lighten the mood but it didn't work.
"y/n?." i could hear ethan say this from outside the door.  " let him in."
Ethan walks in and mark and amy leave.
"hey what's wrong? we were just watching tv and you sprinted to the bathroom."

" my anxiety was starting to act up and i started panicking. sorry for worrying you eef."

He pulled me into a hug and i accepted it. Ethans hugs always made me feel better but this hug made me feel just angry. I pulled away from him. "sorry i just need to go bye Ethan."

I grab my phone and keys and just leave not even looking at anyone while i walk out the door. Fuck now i just made a scene. i'm just an over dramatic piece of shit huh? i'm getting upset over such little things.

I get to my car and drive home. i reach my house and just sit down in my chair. I didn't know what to do. I was attached to this guy that had a girlfriend and i knew he wasn't going to give me attention so it made this so much harder.

*ring* *ring* *ring*
Incoming call from: eefin<3

*decline*

I didnt feel like talking to him right now.
i didn't know if i wanted to talk to him again.
i didn't know anything.
i just laid in bed and slept. Ignoring my phone buzzing from the other side of the room.