helpless. Ethan nestor fan fiction

-7-

TW: suicidal thoughts

I woke up to loud banging on my door. i didn't even bother to get up so i just sat up and waiting for loud footsteps to come running up the stairs. As a matter of fact they did. My door swung open, i look up to see Ethan. of course it was Ethan just the person i wanted to see right now. "what the fuck y/n."
"what?"
"you left Marks clearly upset and you didn't answer anyone the whole night! Check your phone." Ethan sound angry more angrier then he'd ever been but somehow he wasn't yelling.
I open my phone.

* 40 misses calls from eefin<3 *
* 20 missed calls from Markipoop *
* 15 missed calls from Amy<3 *
* 19 missed calls from Ellie *
* 100 unread messages from effin<3 *
* 96 unread messages from Amy *
* 67 unread messages from Markipoop *

Holy fuck. I didn't even realize Ethan was talking to me this whole time. " Y/N are you even listening to me!?! You could have been dead. we thought you did something to yourself. " Ethan started tearing up they were tears of anger.

" What if i was dead, would it matter?" there was no expression on my face i just felt numb. Like nothing could make me happy. I didn't feel bad for ethan, i didn't feel bad for not answering them. I just wanted to sleep.
"of course it would matter y/n so many people care about you" Ethan started walking closer to me. "i care about you y/n" He pulled me into a hug but i didn't care enough to hug him back. He squeezed me tighter and i finally gave in. I stood up and we stood there rocking back and forth until someone came in my room. Ellie. She pushed ethan away and also gave me a hug. "i was worried, we all were, never to that again okay?" I didn't wanna make a promises but i knew it would calm them down. " never again. i swear, thank you for coming to see me guys."

I pat Ellie's back and release from the hug.
"When's the last time you ate y/n?" Ethan sounded worried. "uhm i-i don't remember i didn't even realize i've been hungry."
"put on some clean clothes, Me,Ellie,and you are going out to eat, i don't care where, you just need to eat. I'll be waiting in the living room for you too get ready."
Ethan left the room and Ellie insisted helping me with my clothes.

I dug in my closet and found a blackish-gray sweater and a black skirt. I showed Ellie and she found some black ripped nylons. We both looked at each other with a grin knowing damn well we picked a banger outfit.

I managed to find a pair of black boots too. I put on the outfit and i think it looked pretty good on me.

(This is the outfit)
I also put on some eyeliner, black eyeshadow,and black lipstick with a little bit of lip gloss on top.

I changed my septum piercing to a skull infinity hoop. i think i looked pretty good.

Now i needed to get Ellie an outfit. I could not stand seeing her wear those light blue American eagle jeans with a floral tube top on more second.

I quickly got some out some baggy ripped mom jeans, fishnets, and an oversized black and pink striped sweater with clothe pins and some rips in it. "wear this. i cannot stand this look for one more second."

She threw it on, i put her hair into a messy ponytail as well just to give her the messy girl look. " sit on the floor we have makeup to do."
Ellie sat on the floor with her legs making a v shape i sat crisscross between her legs so i could do her eyeliner more easily. I gave her some decent sized wings and put some warm blush on her. As i was doing her lipstick Ethan walked in.

i didn't pay much attention to it so i lifted Ellie's chin up with my finger, trying to line her lips better. I look over to see Ethan staring at me as if i'm doing something wrong. I didn't really care what Ethan thought at this point. I didn't care about anything he did. Was i growing a hatred for Ethan? maybe? i don't know. "Beautiful" i say this standing up. "let's go get some subway??" i say while doing finger guns and giving them a look of confirmation. They rolled their eyes and laughed as i ran downstairs. "hey y/n you can bring someone if you want." Ethan grinned at me.
"i don't have anyone to bring"
" Schlatt? it could be a double date."
"omg no ew i don't like schlatt like that me and him are only friends."
"okay okay eret?"
"sure i'll give him a call"

I tried grabbing my phone but it wasn't there. Fuck. i left it in the house. "hold on guys i felt my phone in the house"
I get out of the car and walk into my house. The house was uncomfortably quiet so i quickly sprinted upstairs like a demon was chasing me, grabbed my phone, and sprinted back down to the car. I was panting when i got back in the car. I really needed to start working out more. i accidentally let out a small moan while trying to catch my breath. Seems like Ethan and Ellie noticed, Ellie turned back towards me giving me a concerned look while Ethans face turned beat red. "Omg i'm so sorry i didn't mean to do that i'm just trying to catch my breathe. holy shit this is embarrassing"

Ellie laughed and turned back around linking her and Ethans hands together. " i wish i was in a relationship, you two seem great for each other." i hurt saying this, But they really do look happy together.

I pick up my phone and ring eret.

A deep voice rang in my ears as he picked up.
"Hello y/n"
"Hi eret! Me, Ethan and Ellie are all going to subway do you wanna come with?"
"I'm sorry i can't im actually streaming right now maybe another time y/n"
"It's okay! have a good stream love you dude."
"love you too man bye"

"You say i love you to eret?" Ethan laughed while saying this. "Yeah i say i love you to a lot of my close friends"

Ethan rolled his eyes and kept driving.

"I could invite my ex girlfriend" I didn't really wanna go alone and this is all i could come up with. "ex girlfriend? sure idc call her" Ethan said this probably not noticing he had a bitchy tone.

calling: Mia</3
"hey i was wondering if you wanted to come to lunch with my friends and i?"
"omg yes of course i'll start getting ready now!"
i started blushing at the sound of her giggles.
"okay we will come pick you up bye stupid"
"bye loser"
She laughed and hung up.
"she's coming i'll put her address in the gps"
I unbuckle and crawl up to the front seat.
"y/n you can't just unbuckle in a moving car." Ethan laughed and pushed me back into the backseat of the car. "i'll put it in just tell me where."

I told Ethan the address and we went and picked her up, She came out of the house wearing a messy bun, adidas t shirt, and a nike headband. She got in the car and i couldn't contain myself, i started bursting out laughing. "You look like a hey mamas lesbian Mia." I kept laughing until i felt a hand grab my neck and bring me in close. "say it again y/n."
"no i'm sorry i'll stop." The hand let's go and i fell back into my seat. I could feel my starting to burn up and the butterflies in my stomach were going to be staying there. "jeez y/n your such a fucking bottom" Ethan stated while he kept driving. i ignored him and stared out the window the rest of the way there.