helpless. Ethan nestor fan fiction

-4-

tw: contains anxiety attacks, raising of voices, self harm mentions

Y/n pov:

It was finally time to go to Ethans house. I couldn't let him see what i had done to myself the night before so i just kept on the same hoodie and pants, i put my beanie on and walked out the door.

I arrive at Ethans and knock on the door. I hear stomping coming down the stairs and someone run to go open the door. The door swings open, and there's Ethan with a big smile on his face.

He runs up to me and gives me an unexpected hug i instantly hug him back, he was so warm, like a heated blanket, i could feel his soft breathes on my neck. We pull out of the hug
and run upstairs instantly starting the stream.

"what's up my cranky crew it's ethan from crankgameplays, and today we're here with Y/n"

I could feel a faint blush appear on my cheeks. i loved hearing Ethan say my name. I got a shiver down my spine everytime.

"Oh! y/n! i got something for you:)"

Ethan pulled out blue hair dye. i'd been wanting to re dye my hair but never really had to motivation to do so. Without thinking i gave Ethan a quick kiss on the cheek, this made the chat go crazy. I looked over at Ethan his face was completely red.

"omg i'm so sorry i wasn't thinking-"
I was quickly cut off by Ethan taking his finger and tilting my chin up to meet his face. i got super flustered, my heart was racing. i couldn't move i was just looking into his eyes.
All of this was happening on stream. i was assuming the chat was going totally crazy.

"why'd you do that?" Ethan said while laughing.

"I wasn't thinking i'm sorry let's just dye my hair."

I get up out of my chair and go to Ethans bathroom to looks for some gloves. I found some in the cupboard and as i turn too open the door Ethan bursts in grabbing my wrist and rushing me back to the room. It took everything to hold back the winces of pain as he grabbed my wrist.

We sat back in his room, Ethan put on the gloves and started parting my hair into two sections.

"just throw all the hair dye in my hair there's no need to do strand by strand" i chuckled.

"i've dyed my hair before y/n i know what i'm doing, now move your head down for me."

i suddenly got flustered and moved my head down. Something about Ethan ordering me around made me all red. He finished putting all the dye in my hair and took his gloves off, i looked at him and asked him if we could play minecraft, looked at me and silently nodded.

Ethans POV

I had finished putting the dye in y/n's hair. they looked so happy, they were just talking to chat and occasionally teasing me about how i'm doing their hair, but it didn't matter cause no matter what i still enjoyed their presence.

We've only known each other for a day or two but it feels like months. i'm really glad i asked them to come over. I probably wouldn't have gotten out of bed today if i didnt. I took my gloves off and threw them in the garbage near my desk, Y/n asked if we could play minecraft and i silently nodded.

A few minutes went by and a dono popped up the voice saying:

The sexual tentions between them is insane.

I instantly burned up but i tried laughing it off y/n on the other hand was so red they covered their face with their hoodie sleeves.

They looked so cute when they were flustered. I quickly just ended the stream seeing how embarrassed they got.

Y/n POV

I was so embarrassed. i was getting so flustered over something so small. In the event of putting my hoodie sleeves on my face i got blue dye on them.

"hey let me get you a hoodie of mine since you stained yours" Ethan said getting up trying to move past what just happened.

"no that won't be necessary"

"come on y/n it's just a hoodie what's the big deal?"

"this."

I slid off my hoodie, my baggy shirt covering the rest of the cuts i had made.

Ethan started crying he ran over and hugged me, i started breaking down in his arms. we were getting blue hair dye everywhere but at that point we didn't care.

"why did you do this?"

I pulled out my phone and showed his the text message Daniel had sent me before i blocked him. Ethans sadness suddenly became anger. He looked so angry.

"IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM" Ethan shouted while storming out of the room, i ran after him i grabbed him by his waist and pulled him back, His back hitting my chest with a strong impact causing me to let out a groan.

I spun ethan around and cupped his face with my hands. "Ethan please don't." "It's not that big of a deal."
"It's not that big of a deal?! this man fucking fat shamed you, HE FUCKED YOUR SISTER AND YOUR LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT?!"
"i'm sorry eef."

I started tearing up, the feeling of my throat closing as if i'm about to let a oceans worth of tears out of my eyes.
"Ethan please he's not worth anyone's time. I deserve better then someone who's literally named Daniel" Ethan giggled at my remark.

I told Ethan i needed to get in the shower, he walked to the hallway closet, grabbed a towel, and pointed me in the direction of the bathroom.

I got in the shower and prepared for the worst. As soon as the hot water skin my skin i winced in pain. My whole body burnt.
Ethan must have heard me cause he burst through the door asking what was wrong.
"My cuts their burning like hell, i forgot how much they burned."
"Get out of the shower and out some clothes on, i'll wash out the rest of your hair in the bathtub." I could hear the disappointment in ethans voice. I quickly hopped out of the shower put my clothes back on and called for Ethan to come back and wash my hair out.

He walked in the door shirtless with black sweats on. I got flustered as i didn't expect him to be shirtless.
"Uhm why arnt you wearing a shirt ethan?"
"oh i just didn't wanna get my shirt wet- why? you like it?" Ethan laughed at his own joke
"no i don't- just wash the goddamn dye out my hair Ethan." I tried to sound demanding.

I sat on the floor, pushing my back right up to the bathtub. "wait i need to take my hoodie off so i don't get it wet" I continue to pull my hoodie off, leaving me in my bra. Ethans cheeks got immediately red i heard a *gulp* as he continues turning on the water making sure it was decently warm.
"What you've never seen a person shirtless before? Jesus pull yourself together eef."

I lean my head back into the tub, Ethan grabs a cup and starts rinsing out my hair. I didn't even notice the position me and Ethan were in as i was too busy looking at the tub slowly being stained by my hair. Ethans legs on the side of my thighs, he was practically sitting on my lap, while the rest of his body was leaning over my head filling the cup with water. He looked down at me. I looked into his eyes as i felt the warm water meet my head and run down the side of my ears. Our faces were only about 2 inches from each other.
His lips looked so kissable. i just wanted to cup his face with my hands and pull him into a passionate kiss.

We both snapped out of it as he told me he was done washing out my hair. He moved off of my lap and i put a towel around my head a threw on my hoodie.

what the fuck just happened- we were both. WE WERE BOTH SHIRTLESS AND HE WAS ON TOP OF ME WHY DIDNT I JUST KISS HIM RIGHT THERE.
stop. he's just a friend. what the actual fuck am i thinking. get your head straight y/n he was just a friend.

"thanks for helping me Ethan. i should probably get home now." as i said this Ethan grabbed my hips and pulled our body's together. I could feel his heavy breathing on my neck. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me into a kiss. I thought about pulling away but something told me not too. I melted into his arms. He finally pulled away. "i'm so sorry i was just in the moment and-"
I put my finger over his lips reassuring him that it was okay and we were just in the moment. I gave him a long hug and drove home.

did Ethan really just kiss me?.