The Tale Of Two Brothers

Chapter 9

My feet didn't know where to go and my mind didn't have the energy to figure it out, so I wandered around the halls until eventually I found one that looked familiar. A few twists and turns later, I found myself opening the door to Loki's old room, but I hesitated upon entering. 

I pondered in the hall for a moment, wondering if I could muster the strength to try and find a different room. I didn't want to remember his smile as he looked around the room or imagine his touch as I settled in the sheets. Lying in his bed would bring me nothing but grief, and yet I still found myself collapsing in it mere moments later.

Finally alone and still, my mind took over. The hurt, confusion, anger, everything I had gone through and felt in the last few days hit me all at once, threatening to suffocate me. In my current state, I welcomed it. Pangs of abandonment ricocheted through my chest, my mind continuing to torture me with memories of Loki, of his compassion and humanity. 

I almost laughed at how pathetic I was. How I had let my self become so dependent on a man I didn't know, how lost I was the moment he left. And how unbelievably wrong I was about him.

Questions began filtering through my emotions, trying to coax my mind into searching for an answer, but I was simply too exhausted to care. I curled into a ball and encased myself in the heavy comforter in a weak attempt to relax before letting a dreamless sleep consume me.

***

Squinting my eyes open, I had to shield my face as bright light broke through the panes on the window. For a moment, I blissfully basked in the warm glow, welcoming the comforting rays. Then my mind caught up to my situations and dread settled in my stomach once again. 

I tried to take it slow, gently laying back down on the bed and forcing a steady inhale, but it was no use. My hand pressed against my temple did nothing for the pounding ache that jumbled my thoughts nor did my breathing soothe the pinpricks of sorrow closing my throat. 

The tempting offer to allow myself more time to bathe in pity almost overtook me, but I knew that wouldn't fix anything, so I distracted myself by pushing to my feet and glancing around the room. Immediately, I noticed a pile of clothes neatly folded on the bench at the foot of the bed. Clearly someone had found me last night.

Picking them up, a wave of dread rocked me as I quickly recognized the familiar fabric. Loki's soft, black shirt hung limply in my grasp, the black leggings I had arrived in were not far below.

My immediate reaction was to throw them. I needed to clear all thoughts of him, I needed to focus on getting home and he was only going to distract me. However, the dress I had been so lovingly changed into while I was unconscious was noticeably stiff after sleeping in it last night. Not to mention Loki had torn the undergarments I was wearing yesterday, and no new ones appeared with these clothes, so the coverage of pants sounded like a good option.

Without making a fixed choice, I threw the clothes onto the bed and focused on peeling the dress off of me, it felt like it had melted into my skin. Once I was free of it, I paced around the room, planning my next move.

I would have to make a run for the Bifrost because it was clear no one was going to be helping me. I was on my own for this one, but unfortunately, I had no idea where it was. 

Recollection of when Loki and I used it came to mind. We were at the edge of a cliff, waiting. My eyes rolled as I heaved out a sigh, of course someone was going to have to activate it.

Before I could think much further, a light but strong knock at the door pulled me from my trance as my hands immediately went to cover my nakedness. 

"Can I come in?" Thor's gravelly voice sounded from the hall.