Flick

XIV

"You flaked on me last night," Amber didn't look up at me from her magazine when I walked through the lobby. I had managed to make it out of the apartment without seeing any of them. I had no idea when the others were supposed to get here, but I had no intentions of being home when they did. I would like to be as far away as possible by the time they stepped foot into LA.

"You guys were arguing," I shrugged, stifling a yawn. I hadn't slept again last night. I tried for hours, but my body simply wouldn't cooperate. I had spent the whole night scrolling through old songs on the iPod I stole from Wren when I was little, and laying in bed staring at the ceiling for hours wondering what I had ever done to the universe to deserve all this shit.

"Yeah, Clay was being a prick. Said my boobs looked bad in the shirt I was wearing."

I rolled my eyes and leaned against the counter. "He's such an asshole, why are you even with him, Amb?"

She sighed and shrugged. "He's good looking, a football player, and not that bad most of the time,"

"He has the brain capacity of a cricket." I reminded, giving her a pointed look.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, so he's no prince charming. At least I have a boyfriend."

"Amber, I'm 12."

She shrugged. "Even still," The door opened behind us, and my heart jumped into my throat, my stomach twisting into a knot, but thankfully, it was only a downstairs neighbor coming in. "Why are you jumpy?" Amber asked with narrowed eyes.

I hesitated for a moment, before leaning closer to her so I could talk quietly. "The rest of them are coming for Christmas. I might murder someone if I have to see them any time before tonight after I've had a chance to talk to Jackson."

Amber hummed. "I knew that already. Emil-he's the tall one with the black hair right?- was down here yesterday talking on the phone and asking how soon the other person could get here."

I frowned. He had asked me if it was alright, but he had already made that decision. I shouldn't have been stupid enough to think he cared what I thought. I can't remember the last time anyone did. Anyone aside from Jackson that is. I hummed, not looking at Amber.

"I'm going to find Jackson," I muttered. I crossed my arms over my chest and grabbed a cigarette out of the pack in my jacket pocket.

Amber shrugged, shuffling some paper. "'K have fun. I'll meet up with y'all later." It didn't feel like Christmas was only three days away. Sure there was the tree downtown, and the skating rink was buzzing, but nothing about it made me feel the least bit festive. It made me feel like the Grinch. I didn't hate Christmas or anything, I just stopped caring a few years ago. Holidays are really sad when you're on your own. It's the time of year that makes you feel so alone it's painful. Last year I didn't even acknowledge the holiday to anyone. Me, Jackson and another kid in our neighborhood, Cal, went to the movies and enjoyed having the theater pretty much all to ourselves for a few hours. It was a pretty good day.