XXIV

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"You can stay here, you know? You don't have to go back there,"

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"You can stay here, you know? You don't have to go back there,"

I reminded Jackson for the thousandth time.

He shrugged, pulling his sweatshirt the rest of the way down his torso. "I know. I-I just wanna get home, you know? See my Mom before she falls asleep." It was bull shit and we both knew it. But for once, I wouldn't be the one to call him on it. I knew he was only using that as an excuse to get out of here. To get away from my family. To get away from me.

"Oh. Okay." I muttered, trying to hide the sour tone of my words as best I could. I kept telling myself that it wasn't fair for me to be mad at him for leaving me here. He had no obligation to stay with me. He had his own family to deal with. His problems. But I couldn't help but feel bitter, no matter how unjust I tried to tell myself it was.

"I'll come and see you before you leave with Emil on Sunday." He gave me a ghost of a smile that made my stomach clench in frustration. He was still blaming himself for Cameron's decision as if he'd been the one to stick the needle into my brother's arm. I'd tried to convince him it wasn't his fault, but stubbornness was a trait the two of us shared in abundance.

"Oh, right, Sunday," I muttered with a small sigh.

"You are going Sunday, aren't you?" Jackson looked up at me with narrowed eyes, as if daring me to disagree. For his sake, I nodded without hesitation. I had pushed my impending trip to San Diego to the back of my mind in the last few days, stupidly allowing myself to believe that if I didn't think about it, it wouldn't happen. I still had hope that Mom would be able to talk Emil out of taking me with him. But I couldn't tell Jackson that. He wouldn't understand why I couldn't leave LA. Why I couldn't leave him.

"Yeah, I'm leaving on Sunday."

His smile grew just a little wider. My chest tightened in guilt. I hated lying to him, but it had to be done. For him. For us. "Good. I'll see you before then, okay?" I nodded curtly, plastering a weak smile into my face.

"See you before then," With a hefty sigh, my best friend turned his back to me and walked towards the front door of my suddenly suffocating apartment.

"Jackson, please don't blame yourself for this. Blame me if you have to, but it's not your fault." I called out after him before he could descend the hallway. I knew my best friend, and I knew he would keep beating himself up about this no matter what I said, but I felt the need to remind him one more time that this wasn't his fault, even if he wasn't going to believe it to be me. Jackson turned back around, a tiny smirk playing on his lips. Without a second of hesitation, he walked over and wrapped his arms around me. I melted into the embrace without a second thought.

"I couldn't blame you even if I tried, Flick. It's not your fault, not even close," He whispered in my ear. I sighed and sunk deeper into his arms.

"Are you sure? I'll take the fall if that's what you need," I muttered, once again offering myself up as collateral for him. He pulled back from me and flashing a weak smile.

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