Collect of Short Stories

Rafe and his Attempt

"This is gonna be painful."
      Rafe adjusted the the top of the noose way up at the ceiling where it was connected to a light fixture. He has seen Tom throw a baseball at it enough times to know it'll be able to withstand his weight.
     As he was tip-toeing carefully on the wooden chair, he could feel Qadira's scrutinizing gaze swallow every ounce of his integrity. He squirmed slightly. It could be the fact that she disliked his way of tying the knot but he knew deep down she disliked this entire idea.
     As if to reinforce this theory, she crossed her small, short arms and sneered at him. Like a bratty eight-year old. "Real professional of you. Always running away from your goddamn problems." Her eyes traveled to the several Xanax pills littered on the ground, all fallen over after he went on a long rant about how much of a piece of shit he is.
      He stopped adjusting his executioner and stared down at her, frowning. There a black, sort of seeping disease that plagued his heart. He failed to eradicate and now, it was the end of the journey for him. To end his suffering. To end the never ending nightmares. To end his life.
     Even then, he found it ironic, maybe even funny, that he was able to see dead people despite going to be dead in a few minutes. He felt relieved, for the first time in ages but Qadira seemed to express the opposite feelings.
     She was a deceased little girl that had a bullet hole through her chest. She had fluffy, shiny blonde hair, and a very doll-like blue dress. She died at the age of 9 but has been in limbo for the past 22 years. So really, she is 31 years old trapped in a child's body.
     "If you have something to say, say it." He murmured, slightly terrified to raise his voice any harder. In response, her gaze tightened immensely.
      He casted his eyes downwards and got off the chair, glancing at the noose only once. But it was enough to fill him with such hope that he had enough integrity to stare back at his friend. "You don't approve of my decision." He stated blankly.
      She stared up at him, her lips contorting into a half-sneer half-growl. "What gave it away? The moment I opposed against this idea? The time I tried to stop you from getting your hands on the rope, when I told you it's better to tell your friends, when I stood here staring with disappointment at you when I know I can do anything?" Her voice didn't crack once. She hasn't cried for a long time to his knowledge. It was rock solid, like she put every ounce of faith and confidence in her words.
     "It was either this, jumping off a building, slitting my wrists, or setting myself on fire." It was a measly comeback, and whether it was comeback at all was up for debate. He listed those things in his head again, each option looking more appealing than the last.
     "You're an idiot."
      He yelped slightly at her cold voice, the usual round of paranoia beginning to settle in again. Her gaze was now fixated on the noose which, in her eyes seemed barely suitable to kill a man but didn't say anything.
      "You think I don't know that?" He murmured, slightly irritated at such old news. Tell him something that he hasn't heard before.

'You're smart.'
'You deserve the world.'
'Everybody loves you.'

He stopped evaluating the different sort of surprise responses due to how depressed it made him and turned back to the little girl. She couldn't physically stop him. She couldn't tear the noose down and slap him or pull at his clothing. No, she can only sit by and watch. Maybe even commentate.
     Her eyes flickered over to the door which was shut tightly with no way in unless you flattened yourself under her door frame and crushed yourself to death. The windows had curtains over them and Qadira didn't need to check twice to know it's all locked.
     If someone doesn't find him soon, the stench will be the factor that leads to his discovery.
     "Your friends all love you." She murmured. "You know that, right?"
      Well there's a first. Okay, so maybe deep down he felt a little guilty but he can't sit around all day, drinking eight bottles of alcohol while gulping down Xanax. Truth be told, that doesn't sound like a pleasurable life.
     At night he's chased by figures he can't make out. Blank faces that represent so many fears. Isolation, the fact he will never be loved, abuse, trauma and so much more. It was an endless list. An endless list he was finally getting rid of.
     Besides Felix and Jill, he has never truly gotten along with anybody else. And during the past few days, Rafe managed to convince himself Felix and Jill only hang with him out of sheer pity. It lessens the guilt.
     And besides, his last name is, Hangerton. Hangerton. The irony is not lost on him. It was like he was destined to kill himself this way!
     Unlike some other people, he doesn't need to get himself hyped to do this deed.
     "You're gonna do it, huh." It wasn't a question.
      "You know it." For the first time today, he was able to let out a relaxed smile. It was such a unnatural look on his face his jaw muscles strained.
     He calmly stepped on the chair, anticipation running through his veins as he fingered the rough texture of the rope. Complete glee and relief consumed him.
     He finally had the gullet to face the tiny female. "I'll see you on the other side?"
      She grimaced and looked down, tracing a small circle over her slit with her index finger. She didn't want to see this.
      He took her silence as disapproval which wasn't really far off the mark.
      He clutched the sides of the noose and held it in front of him, as if framing his face. An artist performing his last masterpiece.
     He wrapped it around his neck and stepped off the chair.

At first he didn't feel pain. Didn't feel anything. It was the time between the jump and the landing. But that blissful moment of pure flying ended with the rope immediately cutting off circulation. He made no attempt to free himself as the chair lost its balance and fell over, leaving him to hang midair. The light fixture above creaked under the weight and little cement pieces broke off.
     He paid no attention to the deterioration of his home and focused on what will be. His body here, his mind elsewhere. He knows there is an afterlife. Qadira is absolute proof as well as all the other dead people he's seen. That fact makes it all seem less scarier.
     Just as black polka-dogs began to show up and a grayish hue backdrop lined his vision, the next thing he knew, he was on the cold ground, coughing and sputtering like a madman.
      He'd sworn the lights could withstand his weight and to exemplify his point, his tired eyes shot up towards the ceiling where though a little lopsided, it was still in place. Then what could've...
     Sharp pinpoints began to dig into his shoulder blades and he winced. His body got turned around, almost dislocating his hip in the process as he registered what caused his extra few seconds of life.
      "Maddy?"
     The two were nearly face to face as red eyes punctured his his brown ones. He could've counted the individual pores on her face if it wasn't for the fact that he just tried to hang himself.
      The two locked eyes for what seemed like an eternity before she hissed, almost snakelike. The remainder of the rope was still tired around the neck. Now useless, he tore it off and now it was his turn to be angry.
      "What the hell was that!?"
      Her usual smirky face was pulled down into disgust and judgement. "It was called saving your life you suicidal bitch!"
      She abruptly stood up and dusted off her jeans, giving a loud sigh in the process as if she really couldn't be bothered to save someone's life. She was the taker of life, not a giver.
     "You're lucky I was able to reach you."

     'Lucky?'

     "I knew something was wrong the moment the door handle didn't budge. You barely lock those anyways."
       Rafe held his tongue at the fact that he was hoping a home intruder would come in shoot him but he figured it will only make the situation worse. He remained quiet as Maddison, being as talkative as always even now rambled on, "We knew it was bad but..."
     She trailed off, a dark, concerned expression beginning to etch itself onto her face. It was so unnatural that Rafe nearly had a panic attack.
       Suddenly, he heard a small sob escape from her lips. He was so taken aback by the amount of raw emotion she was showing that he didn't notice the single tear that fell to the ground.