mr. mara

•6•

"I'll be back later!"

"Where are you going?" My dad yells back.

"Tutoring," I say back. "I might be later than usual tonight. We have a test this week."

"Be careful," my dad says.

"I will."

I turn around and I'm faced with Zion, "I can drive you. I know you don't like driving in the dark."

He's right. I don't like driving in the dark, but I've been doing it all week to see Nick, so I will be just fine.

"It's okay," I say. "I've been doing it all week long when I go to the school."

"You sure?" He asks. "I can start taking you from now on. I'm not busy or anything."

"It's fine," I smile, "Thank you though. I'll see you later tonight."

"Okay, yea. See ya."

I walk out of the house and I go to my car. I instantly drive off because I don't want Zion to come try and talk to me again.

It's so hard keeping this whole thing from him. I know it's only been a week, but I tell Zion absolutely everything. He's definitely going to hate me when he finds out about us.

Nick's apartment is on the far side of town, but it's only about a ten minute drive. He gave me his address last night.

To be completely honest I'm freaking out about tonight. I just can't believe we are actually doing this. I told myself it wouldn't happen. I told myself that I wouldn't be like Shelby, but here I am.

I park my car a few blocks away from his apartment. I don't want to be too suspicious or anything, so I need to park farther away. It's already risky enough going to his apartment. I mean anyone could see me walk in.

Once I'm at his apartment complex I beep the small answering machine that has Nick's name on it, "Hello?"

"It's me," I say.

"Come up!" He says all excited. I smile and I go inside the building.

Nick insisted on making dinner for us tonight. I'm not sure what we are having, but he is super excited to make it. He always tells me that he's amazing at cooking. I told him that I would be the judge of that.

I walk up the many stairs until I'm at his door. My hand lands on the doorknob, but before I can turn it my hand freezes and my throat instantly feels dry.

We can't do this. Are we crazy? Who in there right mind would want to do something like this? What if it doesn't work out? He would hate me in class and I would hate him. Or what if it's awkward?

I start to pace back and forth outside of his apartment door in the hallway. I don't want to be this way, but I can't help it. I'm having a panic attack over this.

I mean this is stupid. Why did we ever think that this was a good idea? This is the stupidest thing either of us has ever said or done. We can't like each other. We can't fall in love. He is my teacher and I'm his student.

He might go to jail. I might go to jail. I would never get to see him again. I won't be able to live with myself if I'm the reason he's in jail. I can't do that to him.

The door opens and Nick stands there, "Kai? What are you doing?"

"W-we can't do this!" I blurt out.

"What do you mean?" He walks over to me and grabs my arms so I stop pacing. "Come inside and we can talk."

"No," I say. "We can't."