The Choice

Chapter 21

(Ruth's POV)

I have invited Felix to meet up with me. Why? Because everything has to stop. Now, I'm inside a mall, waiting for him. We were supposed to meet up here minutes ago. I checked my phone for the nth time. Still, no messages from him.

What am I expecting from him? He was always been like this. He only messages me if he needs to. I'm not even sure if he is still coming or not? Sighing my frustration out, someone suddenly tapped my shoulder.

"How long were you waiting?"  Felix said. I eyed him out. Felix was wearing a gray turtle neck underneath a black three-dimensional cut blazer jacket which was hugging his body. His black pants were loosely hanging on his waist as it slowly fits his perfectly lean legs. He was also wearing black casual canvass loafers. Noticing me and my behavior, he smiled at me. His eyes were sparkling and his face was like glowing. Why does he look so handsome today? Fuck! I internally swore.

"Not that long." I gulped in my frustrations. I'm here to tell him to leave me alone. Why am I feeling butterflies in my stupid stomach?

"Thank you for meeting up with me, Ruth." Sincerity was all that I can hear. I nodded at him. We were just walking around the mall as I do not have anything in mind what to do before I tell him everything. He was just following me around, too and not saying anything. I sighed. I sneaked a look at him but failed as he was also looking at me. He smiled casually. I looked around immediately.

What am I doing? I sighed.

"Why are you keep on sighing?" Felix asked casually. His hands inside the side pockets of his blazer. "Are you planning on saying goodbye?" He stopped walking and I did the same. His eyes were a little bit misty. Are those tears? I want to say something but I cannot find the words I want to say. Feelings were flooding inside me which I thought was already lost. 

We were just there in the middle of the mall's hallway. People were staring at us as they passed by. Feeling embarrassed and pressured with the stares, I grabbed his hand and dragged him in a corner.

"Felix, I still like you." Felix stared at me.

"Ruth, I -"

"Let me finish first." Cutting him off. I inhaled deeply and exhaled. "But I can't be with you. I don't want to hurt anyone. You're with someone and I have someone who's waiting for me." Staring at the floor as my tears were trying to fall. "We already talked about this that summer, Fel. This isn't right. I already told you that we should just be friends back then but you can't. Even now, it's the same. These feelings were never right at the beginning. So please, Fel. Leave me alone."

Next thing I knew, I was on his chest and my tears finally betrayed me. I hugged him tightly. So tight that I really don't want to let go. Ever since the day I knew he has a girlfriend, I always wish that the next time we meet each other, we can give each other a chance. However, I never expected to meet him again in just after a year and so. I was trying to forget everything but the more I am with him, the more I knew that he's the one I love.

Pushing him slowly away. "Please, Felix. Let's end this charades." I wiped my tears away and stared at his eyes directly.

"Is it June?" He asked.

"Yes." I honestly told him. He bitterly smiled.

"Okay." He let go of my hand which I didn't realized he was holding. Then he turned around and left.