A Cry For Help

No No No!

May 21, 2015

"Camry!" My momma was always calling me out of my sleep for random stuff. "Cam, get the remote. Cam is it cold outside?" I was used to her depending on me and I was fine with that. But it's three o'clock in the morning, what could she possibly want or need?

"Camry, please. Come help me!" my momma croaked out.

I jumped out of the bed in my white wife beater and black basketball shorts. I ran to her room, with mind my running a mile a second. My momma got on my nerves but I love her too much to mistreat her.

"Ma, it's 3:07 am, what do you want?" I asked before making it to her door. I paused at the site before me. I felt my tears get stuck in my throat as they threatened to fall from my eyes.

I had to be strong for my family.
It was blood everywhere and my momma was vomiting it up. I ran to her and grabbed my phone.

I started dialing 911, but when I was about to press send my momma said, "Cam, baby don't call the police. I just need help getting cleaned up. I want some rest."

My momma was diagnosed with HIV nine years ago. But this year, her immune system was failing her. She said she was tired of struggling and being in pain so she stopped taking her medication.

I followed momma's instructions and didn't call, only because those were her wishes. If it were left up to me, she'd be getting all the help she needed. I didn't wanna lose her but I guess that would be selfish of me.
I put on some gloves and cleaned momma up. After making sure she was clean, I helped her into bed and went to cleaned up the blood with bleach.

"Momma, I put your phone on the night stand. Can you reach it?" I asked standing at the door.

"Yea, baby. I can reach it."

I looked at my momma and wanted to cry. She might have done things in her past but she didn't deserve this. I've never seen her like this and it's killing
me.

"Camry?" my momma called out as I was leaving out. I stopped walking and looked back. "I love you my favorite daughter."

"Momma, I love you too," I chuckled as I kissed her cheek.

When I got to my room, it was 5:37 am. I knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep soon so I got on Facebook. I was scrolling down my timeline and I saw that Daijah was online. So, I texted her.

Me: Hey Bestie

DaiDai: Hey. Wyd up? What's Wrong.?

Me: Thinking About Life. Why Me Bestie? Why I Gotta Live Like This? Why My Momma Gotta Be Sick? Why I Have 2 Kids? Why?

DaiDai: Bestie boo, I told u. Everything happens for a reason. I can't tell u it's gonna be okay cuz it's not. But I love u and want u to be happy. U can't stress over things that can't be undone.

Me: Ugh

DaiDai: I love u Bff 12.19.13 Foreva?

Me: I Love U Too BFF5eva 12.19.13 Always !

I guess I dozed off because I woke up to the sound of people in the house. Furniture moving. My 2-year-old daughter crying. My 5-year-old daughter singing amazing grace. My cousin Anisha walked into my room crying.

"Camry, get up." I sat up in my bed. "Camry, she gone. Camry, I'm so sorry for your lost."