The sky is over us the darkness inside

Here in the forrest, dark and deep...

I kept going. The twigs cracked under my feet, like the only sound in the night darkness.
"Silly girl ... did you really think I actually loved you?"
I stared into nothingness, trying to get over it. The words that hurt so much. Like tearing the heart out of my body, driving it over with a truck, and then cutting it to pieces with a chainsaw, just to make sure it was dead.
"I will always be there for you," he had said. Then he left. His brown eyes had twinkled in the sun and I vaguely remembered how great my urge to kiss him had been. But now I understood better. Now I better understood the expression my mother had been trying to teach me when I was still a little girl.
"Be careful whit you wishes"
She'd said.
"Otherwise you just risk getting it."
And I'd wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against mine, spend the rest of my days with him. And I got it. But who would have thought that 'the rest of my days' was not particularly long?
"I lied. You believed in me. Who's stupid here? "
I saw him in front of me, stand there again. With his shoulder long brown hair, flat nose, and muscular hands in front of him, there on the cliff.
"Yes I believed in you."
I'd whispered back.
"Because I followed the heart that had already been broken to many times."
An owl flew past in the tree next to me while I finished playing the memory.
"Follow your heart and you will die every day"
And then he'd pushed. I could feel the wind whistling around me as I fell. Then I'd felt a hard bumb and then ... nothing. Now I feel nothing more. No emotion, no pain, no joy. I don't even feel the cold wind that now whistled against my face. I stopped, closing my eyes.
"Here in the forest, dark and deep, we offer you, eternal sleep."
The trees began to whisper around me. The sounds from the leaves, were not just whisteling, but voices. But what difference is there? Nothing matters where I am now.
"There is no way out of the darkness ..."
They whispered.
"I am not looking to escape my darkness!"
I shouted, and the sound of an owl changing branches was heard in the forest of Ihal. The forest of death. The only place where only joy slowly dies while wishing you did it yourself.
"I am learning to love my self there"
I kept walking, ignoring the voices around me. No I shouldn't think now, I shouldn't feel now. Not when there are so many things to think, so many things to feel. But the thoughts ... the thoughts were there. And the thoughts, slowly slipped into dreams.