both | victorious

•ten•

jade's pov
i want you
☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

TW: self harm

RECAP:

I walked out of drama class looking for Jasmine everywhere. She didn't show up to class today and Beck left early so I could only imagine what was going on.  I went to my locker and dumped my books in there and met Cat by the vending machine. 

"Hi Jade." She chirped.

"Hi Cat- have seen Beck... or Jazzy anywhere?" I asked impatiently looking around. I ran my hands through my black and blue hair, then crossed my arms over my chest. 

"Oh yeah." She whispered and pointed to the janitors closet. I went over to the closet and listened closely to what they were saying. 

"-- you were afraid of seeing Jade?" that was Beck. 

"Yes I was. I kissed her ex boyfriend. And I'm her closet friend. and i told her." that was Jasmine.

"You told her!?" Beck yelled. 

"I'm sor-"

"Hey guys." I smiled as i opened the door. "What's going on?"

"It's really none of your business." Beck sighed running his finger through his soft brown hair. Jasmine was afraid to make eye contact with me so she kept her eyes on the floor the whole time.  I felt bad. I didn't want her to be afraid of me. I closed the door behind me.

"Jasmine." I sighed. She looked up at me and licked her lips. "I'm not... angry...I'm just upset."

"Jade I'm so so so-"

"You don't need to apologize." I gave her a reassuring smile. I looked at Beck and nodded. "Uh... actually Jasmine can I talk to you...alone." Beck reached for his bag on the floor and walked out the of the closet.

"Sooo?" She asked. I tried to hide my smile. 

"You know you...were the first person i came out to." I said tapping my foor on the floor. She smiled.

"Oh..uh cool." She said awkwardly. 

"But." I paused. "..I still..love Beck." I was tearing up. 

EWWWWWWWWW EMOTION!

"But I think I love that girl I was talking about too." I wiped my tears before the could role down my cheek. Jasmine's eyes went wide.

"Are you cry-"

"No.. no I am not crying." I protested. I smiled and took a deep breathe. "But i don't think she'll ever love me back." Jasmine's eyes were full of pity. I took a another deep breathe.

"Can I..uh hug you?" She asked jokingly. We chuckled. I nodded. She wrapped her arms around me and I did the same. The warmth from her body made the butterflies in my stomach flutter. She rubbed her hand up and down my back, calming me down. I let go of her and took a step back.

"It hurts because I usually get what I want and I want-"

you. I want you. Just say it.

"I want to get lunch." was what I managed to get out. I dug my nails into my palm and bit my lip really hard. She chuckled and opened the door for me and we both walked to lunch together.

leah speaks
this was the shitty chapter ive ever written ewwww