both | victorious

•twelve•

jades pov
☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁
TW: SELF HARM, ED

RECAP:
"Uhm...I'm hungry." Jade called out. "We should get something to eat." Everyone nodded in agreement.

I sat silently digging my nails into my palm as i watched everyone have fun. 

"Jade you havent touched your food...is everything alright?" Tori asked. I nodded and nibbled the tip of my thumb nail. I looked at Jasmine who mouthed an 'Are you okay' to me. I nodded. Beck took his arm from around Jasmine and awkwardly sat in between her and Andre.

"hey jade?" robbie asked. I looked at him and he shuddered. "can i have your fries?"

"ye-"

"no." Beck interrupted me and looked at me sternly. I rolled my eyes. "come with me?" He stood up from his seat and kept our eye contact but I didn't move. He gave me a look and I stood up and followed him out of the restaurant.

"what" i asked a bit harshly.

"why aren't you eating?" he asked taking a step forward.

"im not hungry." i said sternly. He looked at me with worry in his eyes.

"jade just because we broke doesnt mean i don't care about you. i still love you and i always will." He started. " but you need to eat. "

"I'm not hungry." I said once again. Fuck. I was in the verge of tears. Beck let out a sigh before he pulled me into his arms. I just wanted to break down and cry but for some reason i couldnt. I wanted another person to hold me and tell me that everything would be okay while i have yet another mental breakdown. "fine."

He pulled out of the hug. "I'll eat but I'm not eating for you im eating because I want to."  I began to walk inside when Beck gently grabbed my wrist. My hand fell open and he observed the crescent moons on my palm. He muttered something to himself before looking at me.

"jade." he shook his head. " what- why- is this about me and jasmine?"

"no." i lied. "can we go in and eat now." He shifted uncomfortably and looked inside the restaurant.

"Jade please don't lie to me." He pleaded.

"Its not about you guys just get over it." I raised my voice little trying to cover the pain.

"Your lying to my face right now." He argued. "Just tell me the truth it's not that hard."

"fuck you beck!" I whispered holding back tears. "Can't you just accept the fact I don't wanna talk about it especially with you."

"Is everything okay?" A familiar voice rang out from behind me. Jasmine.

"Everything is fine." I looked Beck dead in the eye.

"Well Robbie ate your fries." She said a bit quitely sending the tension. I looked at her than back at Beck.

"We'll be back inside soon." Beck assured her. Jazzy went back inside leaving me and Beck outside starring each other down. " I just want you to be honest with me and I can still be there for you. Can't you see I still care deeply about you? I don't want you to bottle up your feelings it's not healthy and you have lots of friends that are here for you you just have to let them in."

I rubbed my face out of frustration. "I'm bisexual and neither of my parents would ever accept they already don't like me now and i don't want to add on to the reasons that they shouldn't." I sobbed. I paused to take a breath. "And then theres Jasmine. I think I love her and I know she would never love me back because she's one into you and she doesn't like girls." Beck just pulled me into a hug after my rant and I continued to cry into his chest. He comforted me as he usually does. I don't know how he puts up with me sometimes.

"Its okay everything is gonna be fine."

leah speaks
what do you guys think <3