next to you ❀ l.s.

twenty five - break up, break down

Harry wasn't sure how long he spent in his bedroom. It was supposed to be his safe space, and yet everything seemed strange and unfamiliar.

Usually, he went numb. Usually, the entire world around him turned foggy, still there but soft around the edges. Usually, he would have snapped out of his haze by now, sheepishly returning to his normal life like nothing had ever gone wrong.

This time was different. His stomach swirled with energy, rising up into his chest and spreading through his shoulders. He hadn't slept; he hadn't eaten. His hands hadn't stopped shaking since he left the other boy's apartment last night. The world was slowly crashing down around him, crumbling into rubble and dust, and all he could do was watch.

The sudden realization that he couldn't face this alone hit him like a semi truck. His bedroom walls seemed to close in on him. So he did what he always did.

He called Liam.

And Liam seemed to know already, just like he usually did. He and Niall were out to lunch after their class, their empty burger wrappers strewn messily across the small table. The entire place smelled like grease and potatoes and college, but rather than discussing schoolwork, the boys were unraveling the same nineteen-year-old mystery they had been for the past two years.

Liam's forehead was creased, just like it always did when he was worried about Harry. "I've called at least five times over the past few days. He never answers."

"That'll explain why he hasn't reacted to any of the memes I sent him on Instagram," Niall commented. "He usually calls me laughing his ass off at them, but I haven't heard a peep."

"He seemed really upset on Thursday. Watching Louis with Stan must've been really hard for him, and --" His phone buzzed aggressively on the table, and Liam tilted his head to the side, surprised. "It's him." He answered the call quickly, like it might disappear if he didn't make it into a reality. "Hey, mate. We were just talking about you. Alright?"

"Hey, Li, I-I'm sorry to call. A-Are you in class still?"

"No, we're all done for the day. Probably going to find somewhere to do some work."

"O-Okay, that sounds good. I-I, um, I . . ."

Liam's brow furrowed, and he made eye contact with Niall across the table. He put the phone on speaker, pointing to it to get the other boy's attention. "Harry, mate, are you alright? You sound a bit shaken."

"No, no, I-I'm fine," Harry stuttered out quickly, mentally cursing himself for being so obvious. The goal was to keep his friends from worrying, not to make them think he was having some sort of stroke. "D-Do you think . . . would you want . . . could you just come over sometime today?"

Liam frowned down at the phone, glancing at Niall for guidance. The Irish boy had a knitted brow to match his own. "Okay, Haz. We'll be over really soon, alright? Just hang tight."

"Okay." A shaky breath. "Okay." The call dropped, the line going dead.

The phone stayed frozen in Liam's outstretched hand. He stared at it for a long moment, his mind racing. Niall watched him with worried eyes, waiting for a plan (because Liam always had a plan) that never came. It was disconcerting.

"Should we grab him some food or something to cheer him up? Make a night out of it?"

"No. No, I have a bad feeling." Liam was already dialling a different number, pressing the phone back to his ear. "I don't know what's going on, but I don't think it can wait."

Louis's voice came through the wire a moment later. "Hey, Li. Find a place to study yet?"

"I need you to check on Harry." Liam's voice had a strained edge to it, and Louis's ears perked up with worry and interest.