next to you ❀ l.s.

forty seven - sticks and stones

Throughout the morning, Harry was a total wreck. He covered it up as well as he could, even making Louis breakfast with a shaky smile on his face, but Louis knew him too well to be fooled by his facade. Luckily, the older boy didn't point out his observations; if he had, Harry probably would have crumbled to pieces right there on the kitchen floor.

The drive was short, but they made a few stops for gas and coffee anyway, mostly to distract Harry from his nerves. Louis drove, not even trusting Harry to get behind the wheel, and he kept a heavy hand on Harry's thigh the entire time. The solid touch did keep Harry grounded, but he nearly jumped out of his skin when the phone rang.

He scrambled for the device, answering it without hesitation. "Hi, Mum." He glanced at Louis nervously as his mum started speaking, and Louis pretended to pay attention to the road, acting like he couldn't hear what was being said on the other side.

He could, though.

"-- and what have you eaten so far today? I just want to be conscious of what I'm making for lunch, honey," Harry's mum was saying, her voice sickly sweet. Harry's face flushed, but he wasn't going to argue with his mother -- especially not in front of Louis.

So Louis listened with a growing knot in his stomach as Harry obediently recited everything they had eaten that day, starting with breakfast in the apartment and even the gas station snacks they had picked up along the road. He hadn't noticed Harry checking the nutrition facts on anything, but the younger boy easily listed out the calorie counts on their pre-packaged foods, not even blinking an eye.

His loose grip on Harry's thigh tightened as his entire body clenched with worry. As the younger boy continued speaking, Louis hummed under his breath along with the radio, just loud enough to block out the sound of Harry's mother's voice coming through the phone.

"N-No, Mum, we can't spend the night. I really wish we could but we, um, I, uhh . . ."

Louis heard the panic in his boyfriend's voice. He patted Harry's thigh to get his attention, and the younger boy cast him a hopeful look. His eyes barely left the road as he mouthed, "Test."

Relief washed over Harry's panic-stricken face. "Right, yeah, Louis has a test tomorrow morning. Yeah, I know, they do give tests on Fridays. Yeah, I know, it is a bit ridiculous."

Harry wrapped up the phone call as quickly as he possibly could. He didn't say a word when he finished. He just silently slipped the phone into the cup holder and snuck his hand into Louis's.

"You with me, H?" the older boy asked gently, squeezing Harry's fingers between his own.

Harry nodded, tearing his eyes away from the window to give Louis a reassuring smile. He squeezed the older boy's hand in return, answering simply, "I'm okay. Don't worry." He looked back down at his lap, his gaze fixed on their intertwined hands. "Everything's going to be okay," he whispered almost inaudibly.

He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Louis or himself.

Seeing Harry's childhood home for the first time made Louis's heart feel ten sizes too big, like his love for Harry just kept flowing and overflowing, spilling out of his aching chest and onto the pothole-ridden suburban streets. He wanted to tuck it away; he wanted to drop to his knees on the rough concrete and collect his feelings into a bundle in his arms before they splattered sunshine on the gray exterior of the two-story house.

The engine switched off, plunging them into an eerie melody of birds chirping and a lawn mower running in the distance. The intrusive slam of their car doors opening and closing echoed through the quiet neighborhood.