~The Long Winter Gone: 1~

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A/N: after a long departure, I have returned to this book with more experience in writing... 809 words. a bit short lol 

It had been a long winter.

Long and monotonous, it had started. Changes in the wind, the pollen of the air, the smell of tone in the air were such things she was sensitive to now. Any slight change she managed to catch, even if it may slip off the tongue to others. In her years at the Red Army base, instead of hardening to the war around her, she became sensitive to everything but the consistent stream of gunfire, the flap of helicopters, the cacophony of the militia base. Boredom, perhaps, was the root of such hypersensitivity. Perhaps instead, the sense of change was the true cause.

"Søt honning, you have been staring at nothing for a while." Her lover approached her, long since a familiar voice. A sense of ease came over her, despite disturbing her fixation. With his long since held bionics, Tord was strong, and easily intimidated those who crossed his path.

Since her forgiveness had come through to him, despite all of his abuses, he had been forgiven.

"Are you out for a smoke?" She asked, spying back to detect perhaps that cigar brand he always seemed to carry.

"No, I came out to see you. It's rare to see you lost in thought nowadays, since usually you're always rushing around the medical bay." Tord spoked, laying his non-bionic arm around her waist.

"I've found the time for it. In some ways whenever I'm out here time seems to extend itself." She sighed, looking upon the greenery about her.

"I never took you for someone who liked to slow down." Tord laughed.

"We've been married for 3 years." She mocked, glancing at him with a sarcastic eye.

"Well, I love you because of your ability to surprise me." He explained, kissing her cheek softly. The sensation of scarred lips against her cheek was long since a familiar feeling, the sensation of a once soft mouth p having the sensation of sand paper against her soft milky skin.

"Tord...?" She slowly stopped, a moment of reflection coming upon her head but not exiting through her mouth. "Why do all of this?"

"What do you mean...?" Tord hesitated, looking over at his now estranged wife.

"I mean, it seems quite absurd to attempt to kill three of your childhood friends for a girl who you don't even know loves you. Or well at the time..." She sighed, looking down towards her feet as her confusion grew.

"Well, Søt Honning.... have you heard of the hit TruTV show Impractical Jokers?"

"I'm sorry what." She stopped, processing what he had just said.

"See I'm not your husband, I'm not Tord I've never been... I'm Q from the hit TV show Impractical Jokers!" Suddenly Tord stepped back, shedding his skin and Norwegian accent to reveal Brian Quinn known as Q from the hit TruTV show Impractical Jokers.

"Oh my fucking god?! What?!" She screamed, stepping back and falling in terror.

"(Y/n) your entire experience in the Wattpad book 'I can't see yellow' was in fact just a prank on impractical Jokers!" Q laughed. "Sorry about that! Look, our camera crew is over there!"

Mortified by the current events, (Y/n) was still in absolute disbelief.

"Edd, Matt, Tom, come out!" Q called out. "Or should I say, Murr, Joe, Sal!"

Suddenly, the people she had known as friends for all her life came out, wearing her friends hoodies, and in fact being the main cast of the hit TruTV show impractical jokers.

"Wait... you guys were my friends for all my life I don't..." she cried, finally able to muster words.

"Well sometimes our losing jokers punishments last really long such as in the case of Sal's punishment in episode 8 of season five which aired on April 7, 2016! We took a punishment from season 4 and nearly a year later made a fake legal hearing for Sal!" Murr explained.

"Then we made him think he shut down our shoot. Hah!" Q laughed.

"Yeah so Q here had the task of faking our deaths, making a fake militia group called the Red Army and faking being your husband for 3 years WOOMP WAHHHHH..." Joe comically mocked.

"Yeah Great job asshole." Q elbowed Joe, laughing.

"Wait my entire life was a lie for a reality TV show about graphic stupidity from four lifelong friends competing to embarrass each other?" She asked.

"Yeah sorry! Anyways! That concludes tonight's punishment for Q! Let's head to the inside jokes for tonight!" Sal apologized, making a funny face as he did in episode 14 of season 5 when he helped give birth to a cow.

(Y/n) overwhelmed, then fainted, concluding her hell in the most comical way possible. Dare I say Impractical... 

 

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 15, 2021 ⏰

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