Bad Love

Chapter 7

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It was 5 am when Jonathan awoke. He didn't feel like sleeping anymore. He wondered if it was because of Evan's mum's birthday and he was just too excited or if it was because he slept too early so he woke up at such an early hour too. He wanted to think that it was the latter, but the beat of his heart said otherwise. Since he couldn't get himself to sleep again, he decided to go online to play a game. He wondered if his friends were online, it would be really nice. He checked his friends' list and saw that Marcel and Tyler were playing Garry's Mod. He grinned to himself as he launched the application. At least it was just the three of them. He didn't want the two to tease him with Evan around.

When he finally joined in the game, Marcel greeted him first, asking him why he's up so early. As usual, he didn't tell the truth and made up excuses. He really needed to stop being such a liar. It wasn't a good habit anymore. It would probably lead him to trouble, too. But he couldn't do anything. He didn't want to be teased again.

"Oh . Evan's birthday? I thought it was the 2nd of May, Delirious?" Marcel asked, obviously heard the wrong information.

"No, you idiot. Evan's mum..." he replied and spawned 50 balloons. He wanted to earn an achievement.

"Duh, Marcel. Delirious should know Evan's birthday. I mean, they're in a secret relationship, you know," Tyler butted in, the tone of his voice was obviously something.

"Yeah, how about you shut the fuck up, Wildcat?" he answered. "Why are you guys suddenly pairing me up with Vanoss, anyway? Is it because of Nogla?"

He could hear Tyler's snort and he should admit it pissed him off for the sole reason that he didn't know, clearly, what was up and why his friends were doing this. Was it to annoy him? If so, then they were rather doing a great job.

"What about Nogla? Nogla's out of this. Why are you sounding mad, anyway? Guilty as charged?"

His eyes slightly widened. "Uh, no? It's because I'm not gay and you guys are suddenly pairing me-"

"You're not?" Marcel asked, cutting him off.

"Or are you?" Tyler asked, too.

Jonathan felt like the room he was in was getting smaller and he was finding it hard to breathe. His friends were asking him that one thing he never really wanted to open up to them. It was his secret. It was like Pandora's box. And they would never, ever, understand it. Although, deep inside he still had this slight hope that one day they might, but the sad fact that they'd hate him too scared him so much. His friends were the highlight of his day. If he lost them, he'd be lost too. And there would be no way out.

Now that they were asking him about it, should he tell? Knowing Tyler, that guy wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut and he might reveal it to everyone. Jonathan bit his lower lip just imagining that. Marcel was also talkative. What if he accidentally shared the truth with Evan? He'd be dead meat. He stared at the screen for awhile before gripping his controller tighter. His mouth opened and as he was about to say something, Marcel spoke.

"Don't be scared. We'll still be here for you."

He didn't know he was biting his lip too hard that he could taste the blood from it. His eyes were watery, a mixture of confusion, fear, anger, those emotions he didn't want to feel at the same time. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't bring himself to tell them what was on his mind.

"I...You guys are starting to creep me out, really. Why are you guys doing this? Is it because I lied to you about moving and not saying soon? Come on," he said, hoping he could drop the subject and proceed to playing with them. He didn't wake up to be interrogated.