Bomb Tamer's Revival

Kabanata 29

Sometimes we need to be reminded of how far we've come by having someone from our past comeback. However, I must continue to love myself since it is my truthful foundation and the reason I am still standing, despite how difficult the world has been on my life and in my heart. Kakayanin ulit kahit masakit.

A lot of shit tore my heart apart yet gave me a new perspective. That is the reality.

You should probably work on developing mental discipline to overcome your emotional tendencies, because otherwise, you will constantly lose yourself. Everybody has emotions, but it's your ability to control your thoughts that can alter how you perceive the world. I don't want to relapse into misery and hatred of everyone and everything. I don't want to relapse into depression when I start to despise everyone, everything. I make these statements because I once stopped caring about everyone after he broke my heart. I must therefore exercise control over how I react to the things intended to disturb my serenity.

But why do I have such a huge heart that I continue to attempt to see the good in you even after you hurt me? Why, despite the fact that it hurts me, do I continue to consider the reasons you might have done it? I don't know why I'm like this. I'm stupid, I know it. However, I constantly remind myself that I have survived all of life's tropical storms, so I am no longer at risk of drowning from these tiny cresting waves. Thanks to Charles last night, he was there beside me. Kaya alam kong kaya ko ito. Kakayanin. Wala rin naman akong choice kundi kayanin. Even if my friends... betrayed me.

"Saan na ang punta mo, Madam?" Tanong ni Harmony sa akin pagkalabas namin sa meeting room.

The meeting I held for our upcoming event this August, the Buwan ng Wika ended just now. Nakapagplano naman na ang ilang mga professors beforehand kaya naging madali ang naging usapan at madaling natapos ang meeting namin. I did was just approve their proposals.

"I have to hurry to RNY Ford Hotel, Harmony. I have something to attend to. Wala na rin akong klase mamaya sa mga BS Crim. May mga paperwork pa ba akong gagawin?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

Umiling naman agad ito sa akin at ngumiti. "Ayos na, Madam."

"Then you can have your rest if you want to. Alis lang ako."

Nang makapasok kaming dalawa sa opisina ay naupo muna ako sa swivel chair at napahinga nang malalim. Ramdam ko ang pagod kahit wala naman akong ginawang nakakapagod. Nakakapagod lang talaga.

"Madam, alam mo na ba iyong kumakalat na balita ngayon?" Maingat na tanong sa akin ni Harmony habang nagpapahinga ako, nakapikit pa ang aking mga mata.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"Iyong dalawang Police Officer po na namatay sa bomba ilang taon na ang nakalipas Madam ay buhay pala," aniya na bahagyang ikinatigil ko.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling blankly.

"Dalawa?" Marahan kong tanong.

"Si Police Detective Liam Cedrick Villar at si Police Detective Trystan Deo Taylor," aniya habang may binabasa sa phone nito. "Balita ko nga Madam kaibigan ni Sir Ralph itong isa."

Ah, my former boyfriend...

So, the news about Deo already spread, too? Hindi na iyon nakakapagtaka dahil noong nakita ko siya kahapon nakita ko rin kung gaano karaming mga tao ang nakakuha ng litrato sa kanya. I guess I really should deactivate my social media accounts now. Ayaw kong makakita at makabasa ng mga patungkol doon.

"The news about them is a hot topic in all of social media, Madam. Nakakagulat din naman kasi talaga na malamang buhay sila after how many years," she said.