Autumn Leaves

Chapter 2

  I wake up to the sound of waterfalls. I groan and slam my palm on the snooze button on my alarm clock. My Mom is really into nature at the moment, so she insists on my waking up to the sound of rain, rivers, bird calls, stuff like that.

            I throw my pillow off of my bed and sit up. My head hurts, and I most definitely do not want to go to school. Yesterday, the school called my mother to tell her I skipped, and she got really mad. Mad as in no more laptop for two weeks, and no going out. The second one doesn’t matter to me, considering I barely ever go out. But the first is a major problem. I like going on my laptop and it keeps me from thinking about Tara. It’s also a distraction from all the other stuff going on at the moment.

            With some trouble, I get out of bed and start getting ready for school. By the time I get downstairs, I’ve already missed the bus, and I can practically see the storm cloud forming over my mother’s head. “London! Get in the car, now. What is with you and school? It’s not that hard. Get up, get dressed, and get out of the house,” she says, glaring at me. I just look at her, grab my backpack and a granola bar and walk out the door. She follows, slamming the door behind her.

            She doesn’t talk the entire way to school, and neither do I. I don’t feel like pretending to be cheerful, and from the looks of her, she doesn’t either. When she pulls up in front of the front doors, I get out of the car without saying goodbye and storm through the doors. I jog down the hallway and into my class, sliding into my seat at the very last second before the bell rings.

            Homeroom is boring, and everyone else has their head on their hands, looking like zombies. Everyone except May, of course. She waves at me energetically, earning herself a glare from Mr. Walker and a weak smile from me. As the morning announcements come on, I shuffle through my papers, bored.

I wish I could talk to Amanda. I haven’t spoken to her that much, but she seems like a great person. I don’t think my mother is right about not talking to strangers on the internet. Not everyone is bad, and Amanda is actually really nice. I really like talking to her, because she knows what it’s like to lose someone close to you. It’s nice to feel like someone finally understands you, and I’m not going to stop talking to her just because my mother is paranoid.

The bell rings, and I get up. First period is Math, without May, thank God. I walk out of the classroom before May can start talking to me, and rush down the hallway. Noisy talking fills the hall, and people brush shoulders with me as they walk down the cramped space. I try to make myself smaller, not wanting to be near anyone. Considering my height, it’s almost impossible, so I veer left and walk into the bathroom.

It’s empty, and I stare at myself in the mirror. Stick straight dirty blonde hair and boring blue eyes. I was never pretty, but now I look kind of terrible. My eyes look empty and sad, and my hair hangs limply. My blue hoodie is too big, and the jeans I’m wearing are old. I can’t remember the last time I was really happy. I used to care what I looked like, and I always looked decent, with Tara at my side and the both of us smiling. After she died, everything came so fast it was a blur. The funeral, the divorce, and the pitying looks I received from everyone at school. May’s new mission to annoy me, and my mother’s change into some weirdo hippie.

Suddenly swept by an overwhelming sadness, I walk into a stall and sink to the floor. I don’t want to deal with school right now. I pull my knees up to my chest and stare dismally at the chipped gray paint on the stall door.

The hours slide by without any effect on me. Occasionally people walk into the bathroom and again I’m struck with the sadness. I’m in one of the really small bathrooms, so thankfully not too many people are here. When the bell signaling the end of lunch rings, I stand up and walk to my classes. I sit through them like a mindless ghost of myself, not speaking or paying attention.