There's Only You

Midnight Confession

A/N: extreme cheesiness. Okay please enjoy 🤗.

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Adrenaline pumps through her body. Sitting cross legged on her bed and under the covers, she swears she can hear her own heartbeat. This has been her state for the past few days- on the bed not able to sleep and her phone in one hand. Whatsapp is open and the cursor line blinks beckoning her to start writing everything that she wants to. Every time the line blinks, she feels buzzing in tune to the pattern at the back of the head.

She looks back at her phone, her messaging app displaying a large portion of his white chat bubbles and her small green ones at the end that says "Thank you for letting me know about your feelings. If it's alright with you, may I have some time to think about it? You are very special to me and I don't want to be rash about this."

Ever the gracious man, he wrote, "Yes of course. Take all the time you need. I'm sorry for having caused you any discomfort because that is the last thing that I want. Ye Jin ssi, I need you to understand that you deserve more than texts. But I was afraid that if I don't write everything that I felt, I would make a mistake - mistakes that I can't afford, not with you. Again, take all the time you need. I'll be here whatever you decide."

That was 2 weeks ago. The guilt has been gnawing at the back of her head for having kept the line of communication empty for the past 14 days. He deserves more than that. Unfortunately, the guilt did not trump the fear that is in her heart. The fear that this person she's been unknowingly holding close to her heart for the past year, will slip and let her down. She's been down this road many times before. She's been let down many times before. The little voice at the back of her head tells her it's only a matter of time before that feeling of disappointment fills her and she sees him in a different light. 

But her heart. Oh her heart! The treacherous little thing was fighting all the logic residing in her head. She rereads his long texts and the uncharacteristic spelling mistakes tugs at her heart strings. It lets her know that he was unusually nervous. The little pauses in between the long chain of texts lets her know, that the usually composed and suave man was finding it hard to find the words.

A week. That was the time frame she gave herself. But then that stretched to another week and she needed those 2 gruelling weeks to really think about them. Why was this so difficult? Shouldn't she see this coming? All those midnight conversations and falling asleep on the phone. Coming home after a long day at work only wanting to sit with him just to drink beer. All those times he calls to ask her about her day because he remembers her schedule. She thinks about the special attention he gives her and how all his friends joke with her about not breaking his heart. But what about hers?

Her heart and her head are at battle. They're friends. Don't all friends do that? Don't all friends give special attention? Sure, he's special. He's after all, a close friend. They're the same age and they have similar interests. Heck, the only thing that was off, was the fact that they've only met now after so many close encounters. She's never had someone of the opposite sex be so in tune to her every move and emotions. But still, their dynamic was just the basis of all normal friendships. Isn't it? The only difference is that he's a man. What if one day he realizes that this is just a friendship? They've been attached at the hip for a long time, it's only normal he feels some sort of attachment.

She sinks back down on her pillow. Her head is literally spinning. Whatever she has written down on text- deleted again. It hasn't been an easy 2 weeks either. Her schedule has not been kind and half the time she was somewhere else thinking about him.