Goodbye, My Love (Chanbaek Fanfiction)

Two

"Dad look at this."

"Not right now, Chanyeol. I'm driving."

"Chanyeol honey, don't disturb your father. Here let me see what you want to show him."

"Dad... just a glimpse!"

"Okay okay..."

The dark clouds.

The sound of rain hitting the glass.

The blinding light before them.

The ear-splitting screech.

His mother's warmth enveloping him into a tight hug.

The crash much louder than the sound of thunder.

Spin.

Tumble.

Stop.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

Chanyeol gasped for air, his eyes stinging with salty tears. The nightmares have gone to haunt him again, it's eating him slowly.

"It's my fault. It's all my fault." He says it like a mantra, sobbing while clasping his chest for dear life. As if he'll broke into pieces if he didn't, but he's already broken, damaged.

He can still feel the cold asphalt lingering hard and rough and wet in his back, the drops of rain hitting his wounded face, the pain in his parents' face before it became calm, he can still remember it clearly. It's the last piece of memory his parents left him. All his fault.

He hates it. He feels like this place is haunted, his energy slowly fading away, and the ghost are becoming stronger. He hates how he feels like a child again, crying and sobbing all the time, the strong facade that he made as he grew up, all gone.

He pulled something out of his shirt, the necklace his hyung gave him as a gift. He played with the pendant, it's actually just a simple silver cross, but it's one of his possession that he loves the most.

Hyung.

That's why he came back aside from visiting his parents' grave again, he wants to meet him again. To thank him for always comforting him, that he's always beside him, talking to him, smiling even if he felt like a trash for living. He pulled him up from darkness, his small hands tightly holding his wrist, he made all the nightmares go away.

And now it's coming back.

He needs to find him as soon as possible. But where? Chanyeol pulled his hair out of frustration when he didn't even know his hyung's name. He should've listened when hyung nagged him to call him by his first name comfortably. But he didn't, he looks up to him so much he wants to call him hyung.

"It's because i respect you so much, hyung."

Chanyeol chuckled when he remembered saying those words, his eyes softened when he remembered how his hyung chuckled, eyes crescent like moon, cheeks pink, his hyung ruffled his hair like he's his most favorite person in the world.

"Thank you, Chanyeol-ah."

Unconsciously, Chanyeol ruffled his hair also like how his hyung ruffled when they were still kids. He imagined that his hyung is in front of him, smiling and eyes shining and full of life, that he's the one who really is stroking his hair.

Of course he imagined him as a child, that's how he remembered him. But still he felt protected, at ease.

The sun is just starting to come up when he opened the window. He remembered that he didn't eat anything last night so he staggered to get out of his room to check if there's something edible inside his kitchen.

Of course there's nothing. He forgot to stop by at the groceries when he went home last night, Chanyeol sniffed then frowned, his nose hurts everytime he breaths, even his soft palate hurts everytime he tries to swallow, he's going to have a cold.

He grumbled when he realized that he needs to wait a few more hours for the grocery store near him to be open, but at least his eyes won't be puffy and blood-shot later.

He decided to lay on his bed again and wait until it's nine o' clock, his eyebrows furrowed when he heared his phone ringing as he come near his room.

"Grandfather..."

"Chanyeol-ah, when are you coming back?" His grandfather said on the other line, his voice much deeper than Chanyeol's.

"I think i have to stay here for a few more days." Chanyeol sat on his bed.

"Grandson... you said you'll just visit your parents." He can hear the desperation in his grandfather's voice, but it just made Chanyeol frustrated.

"The plan has changed." He said then hungup, not even bothering to say goodbye, he should've not answer the call.

He closed his eyes, his breathing deep from anger. Sleep took him away again, but atleast he dreamt of nothing.

He winced when the sunlight hit his face, he forgot to close the curtains, and he's already sweating. He took his phone to check the time. 10:53.

Chanyeol sighed, he'll just eat outside. And he really should start looking for him. But where to start first? He already forgot his real name, he got nothing but the necklace that his hyung gave him.

"Hospital..." an idea came on his mind, that's where he first met him, they would have information about him right? With determination, Chanyeol stood up and took a shower, he then wore a worn out jeans and a simple shirt, he'll just bring a jacket in case it rains again.

----

"Good afternoon sir, what can i help you?" A nurse with short hair asked when Chanyeol stopped in front of her counter.

"I was just wondering... do you still have the list of the patient you had fifteen years ago?" Chanyeol asked, looking down at her sheepishly.

"Sorry sir but we don't give information to somebody." Her smile didn't falter.

"Look, i'm a patient here too fifteen years ago, i just need to find someone. Please?" He begs but smiled at the nurse. Maybe she'll agree. The nurse blushed then looked around.

"I'm really sorry but it's against the hospital's policy." Her eyes was apologetic, and Chanyeol's smile faded. She's right, he forgot.

"Oh."

"B-but if you want... i could look for you..." she whispered only enough for Chanyeol to hear. His eyes lit up.

"Really?" He asked, he's acting like a kid, but he can't help it. The nurse nodded.

"If you would just give the name of the person you are looking for then i'll check it for you." She said in a hushed voice. She can be suspended or fired for doing this, but when she saw how the smile of this man in front of her faded, how his shoulders slumped, she felt the urge to help him.

"That's the problem... i can't remember his name." He smiled sheepishly, he wants to strangle his self for forgetting it.

"Oh, then i can't help you sir." She frowns, voice apologetic. His smile are more sad, she noticed.

"S...sure, but thank you." He smiled then turned around, his strides long and fast just to get away from that place. He never liked the smell of the hospital.

Chanyeol you fool, how can you forget his name?