A book of my thoughts and feelings

Drowning

I feel like I'm lost at sea, drowning in the water. Trying to come up for air but every time my mouth gets above the water another waves pushes it down. I roaming aimlessly through the water trying to get somewhere with nothing in sight. Dark raging water in every direction.
I'm trying to fight something stronger than me
I'm trying to break free from something that has an unbreakable hold on me
Everyday I'm still drowning
One day it's sunny outside but I'm still drowning
One day it's storming and I'm still drowning.
I feel selfish when I see people fight a harder fight and don't give up
I feel selfish when I want to stop fighting and give up.
Slowing letting myself fall underneath the waves. Letting the struggle stop.
Letting the darkness forever consume me as all my memories speed past my mind as I remember what was and what could never be again.