the beatles smut

george pt. 6

george harrison smut 

i haven't gotten much sleep lately. i'm trying to act normal but i jump every time someone touches me. i really don't mean to-- it's just a reflex. even so, it really bothers paul.

i remember one day we were all in the studio, recording a new single. i was busy, so i hadn't seen paul come back behind the glass. he placed a hand on my shoulder and i had flinched, quickly stepping away from his grasp. when i saw the look on his face, my heart broke. he looked so stung and hurt and empathetic all at once. 

we both began to apologize at the same time, awkwardly laughing it off. from then on i noticed that he only touched me when he knew i could see him. 

i know it's hard on john too. i catch him studying my movements, and he constantly asks "how are you, really?" 

we haven't had sex since that night, i can't get too far past making out until i clam up. i want to, it just hasn't happened yet. 

george's main concern is my diet. to be honest, i didn't eat much before, but now i had lost my appetite almost completely.  he'll ask me if i've eaten and chastities me if i say no, plus i'm the only one who he shares his food with, which i think is funny. 

oddly enough, ringo treats me just the same as before. i think he knows how much i appreciate it, or at least i hope he does.

tonight the five of us sit at a nearly empty pub. it's just us, the bartender, and a quiet old man sitting alone. our lively conversation had died out long ago but the silence was not uncomfortable. 

"april, love." said john quitely, just to me. "i have to go out of town for the week. it's just a quick trip. i--" he looks apprehensive. "really want you to come with but  the flight is booked solid. i suppose i could-"

i cut him off, placing my hand on top of his. "no, no. it's quite alright, hun. you go. i'll be just fine here, really. it's just a few days!" i smile, heart dropping to my stomach. i'm not sure what i'll do without him, but i didn't want there to be an unhealthy attachment. 

"you can stay with me if you want." george cut in. "just so you're not alone."

i consider it for a moment, then nod slowly. "if it isn't too much a bother." i can't tell if john is greatful or jealous. maybe both. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"alright then." said george, setting down my bag that he had carried in. "you can sleep in the bed, i'll take the couch."

i of course protested, but to no avail. eventually i gave in and, after washing my face and such, climbed into his spacious bed. 

it was quite late by the time we got home, but still i can't get to sleep. i feel so alone and worried and sick. finally at around 2am i gave in to and left for the sitting room to get george. 

i'm embarrassed but i'm too scared to care. i approach the couch, trembling with cold and bad memories. he looks so peaceful in his sleep, he even smiles a bit, maybe dreaming. i almost didn't wake him, but i knew he'd be upset if i didn't sleep. 

i gently shake his shoulder and whisper his name. his eyes flutter open and he looks momentarily confused. 

"eh? hmm? who is it?"

"it's april." i look away, feeling guilty for waking him up.

he sits up, now fully conscious. 

"what is it, honey? bad dreams?"

"something like that." i reply. "i just-- could you hold me?" i hope he doesn't see me quivering in the dark.