backlogged dreams & day old teas

XIII(a) - your kiss, my cheek

"Joe, um babe, we have to talk." she said.

"I don't feel like talking to you right now," Joe snapped.

"Well it's important."

"Say it then."

"Um, I-I-" Taylor stuttered. It was much harder to put into words than she thought.

"Are you going to say it or not?" Joe was getting impatient.

"I- Okay, um, I just feel like we've not been getting along well since we got together and I just think maybe we should, um, end this." Taylor said the last part so quietly he almost didn't hear it.

"What? Are you breaking up with me?"

"Joe, it's not like I want to, but we've been fighting for four months. That's not right."

"We could just go to couple's therapy or something, you don't have to do that," Joe was hurt. He regretted snapping at her like that earlier. That was probably the last straw for her.

"Well I'll believe we're going to keep it up only if you go downstairs and make the appointment for tomorrow right now." Taylor scoffed.

Joe didn't move. He had fresh tears cascading down his cheeks and he was too hurt to speak. The love of his life was breaking up with him. That was painful.

Taylor wanted Joe to go downstairs and make that phone call. Was their relationship even important and meaningful enough for him to care? Normally, if this was a normal Tuesday night fight for them, Taylor would climb over to his side of the bed and hug him, forgiving him immediately. Yet today something compelled her to stay exactly where she was. What even happened to that sweet, caring Joe that she kissed at the lakes?

Joe stood up, folding his lawn chair and leaning it on the railing before looking at Taylor again.

"Well, I guess you're not joking so I'll go now. We can't live together anymore so I'll come back for my things in the next few days and maybe go to your place in LA to get the rest of my things sometime else."

Taylor sighed. Part of her was still hoping that they could live together. As friends of course. If he even wanted to still be friends with her, that was. Or maybe she was still madly in love with him. She was already regretting breaking up with him, but it was a bit too late now. She wanted to be the bride at his wedding, not the jealous best friend sitting in the back row because his fiance hates her.

"Goodbye Taylor." Joe mumbled, pecking a soft kiss on her forehead before opening up the door to the familiar stairwell and shutting the door behind him. That was it.

She missed being called his love. What happened to them?

She walked downstairs only to hear the front door closing and a car revving out of the driveway. She took out her laptop and decided to book a flight to LA. Being in London, everything reminded her of Joe and she simply couldn't stand it. She walked downstairs and started packing a suitcase. She may have slipped in many polaroids of them together there too. It was all the memories they made over the past 11 months captured in tiny white rectangle frames. She prepped the cat carriers too so that they could go with her since they had their pet passports anyways. When she was done, she collapsed into her bed, their bed, and fell asleep on his side, where his scent on the pillow still lingered like a tattoo kiss.

————

It was two weeks after their breakup and their attempt at friendly texts had been awkward and short. They didn't have their old dynamic where they would joke and tease each other for hours on end anymore. Taylor told Joe she was in LA and he was free to drop by anytime to collect his things since Joe was staying at his parent's house in London.

However, Joe knew he could not sit around moping in his own misery so he decided to do something and drove himself to the lakes. To break free of everything.

The fact that they had almost lasted a year but they separated a few weeks before was so heartbreaking. He booked the same cabin they always stayed at and went to all the places they went to last year. He thought that it was quite pathetic of him to rent a boat and row out himself, so lonely and drowning in solitude.

It was safe to say that across the pond it hadn't been going well either. Taylor was working on clearing out Joe's room at her house after he had left for London. She didn't think he would mind her going through his things, so she got to work packing things into large cardboard boxes. He was returning to his parents' house in London, so she might as well help him get a head start. She started with his closet, rolling open the sliding door. The first thing she noticed was a small teal box with a silver ribbon on it, sittin on the shelf that was level with her face. She tried to convince herself that she shouldn't look, but her curiosity took over her and she sat down on the bed to open it. She pulled at the end of the ribbon which slid off gracefully, then she opened the box to see a grey velvet sachet. She pulled the opening of the sachet open to reveal a silver necklace that has a circular pendant attached to it. Smoothly engraved on the pendant is a cursive J for Joe. Joe. She realised there was a small yellow note also in the sachet, so she didn't even hesitate to unfold it and read it.

"Dear Taylor,
I was going to give this to you for our anniversary, since we're almost at one year now. I still remember our first kiss as adults at the lakes, that was one of the best moments of my life. Since I'm in London right now, I knew that you would find this so I want to take the chance to tell you that you can have this, even now. I hope we can still be friends, you were my best friend after all. Love you to the moon and to saturn.
Joe"

Taylor gasped, delicately running her finger over the initial on the pendant. Joe still gave her this, even though she was the one who broke up with him. Her heart ached for this man, and she found herself filled with immense love for Joe. She quickly checked the time in London on her phone, noticing that Joe had to be awake right now unless he was taking a nap, which was not common for him. She went through her contacts, searching for his name before finding it weird without all the heart emojis next to it. She quickly edited the contact name and called him, with him picking up in a matter of seconds.

"Hey, Taylor, um, what happened?" He was clearly nervous because he didn't know where their relationship stood or even how to act.

Taylor laughed softly at his nervousness. If they were speaking face to face she knew she would have ran her fingers through his luscious golden hair and rubbed his chest to calm him down. A bit touchy for an ex girlfriend. "No nothing... um... I- I got your note and your necklace. Thank you so much."

"Ah no problem," Joe scratched the back of his neck and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm glad you like it. Must have been your nosy self peeking around my stuff, wasn't it?"

"Shut up," Taylor giggled, finally feeling at ease talking to him.

"Joe..." Taylor hesitated, "I miss you."

"I miss you too Taylor."

"Please come back." she whispered, almost inaudible.

A/N:
hiiii okay so i forgot to leave an author's note last time but here's one now. this part is relatively short because i wrote 3000 words and i split it into (a) and (b) of one chapter. (ofc the big breakup was part 13) also let's talk about how she served at the grammys bc i screamed when she won aoty and im so proud of her. hope yall enjoyed this part, ily <3