backlogged dreams & day old teas

XX - even if it makes me blue

"Hey darling," Joe said when Taylor got into the car.

"Hey babe. How was your work?"

"It was good. Did you have a good time with Abi?"

"Of course."

"I have something to show you something when we get back to the hotel," Joe said, patting her thigh, with one hand still on the steering wheel.

"Sure."
They sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the car ride, occasionally exchanging casual smiles.

When they got to the hotel room, Taylor collapsed on the bed immediately.

"God, this baby of yours is really taking all the energy out of me."

"I'm sorry, darling," Joe said, caressing the curve of her body as she lay on her side. "Take some rest now, I'll show you the thing later. It can wait."

"No, no, show me now," Taylor bolts upward, excited to see what he had for her.

Joe stuffs his hand into his jeans pocket and fishes out the slightly squashed origami.

"Here you go."

Taylor curiously observes the origami, recognizing her father's handwriting.

"Joseph... This isn't—"

"It is."

She immediately unfolds the five pieces of paper, spreading them out and arranging them in order.

"It's going to take a while."

Dear Taylor,

First of all, I know you're mad at me and you don't want to see me right now. I know I hurt you and I can't take it back.

The point is, I'm trying to say sorry to you, for everything I said that day. I wasn't even aware of how much I had hurt you, until Joseph basically forced me to meet him and come to my senses. He's a good man, and I believe you two are perfect together.

I think I owe you an explanation. The truth is, I really don't have any excuses for myself. I guess in my mind, I still see you as my little girl that needs protecting. That innocent, tiny little girl on the farm. I keep forgetting how much you've overcome in your life, how many obstacles you have faced, and most importantly, how capable you are of this. I'm proud of you, Taylor, and I know you and Joe would be wonderful parents.

Joe has told me you don't feel ready to face me, and I do understand where you're coming from, but I miss my Taylor. Is it possible for you to meet me again before you go back to London? I'd like to congratulate you and Joe in person for the baby and your engagement. I hope you'll give me a call.

Love,
Dad

When Taylor finished reading the letter, her hands and shaking and her tears and dripping onto the paper, making small blots everywhere.

"Joe..."

"Yeah?"

"Did you meet up with him?"

"Yes," Joe said. "Is there a problem with that?"

Taylor sighed. "Look, I appreciate this, but honestly, you shouldn't have stepped in."

"Why?" Joe was confused.

"Because, to me, this letter does not mean a single thing and I'm still not ready to face him. Yes, you spoke to him, you're on his good side now, but what about ME? He doesn't have the guts to even give me a call himself, he needs ME to make the first move. And he expects me to do so now. I am not ready, don't you understand?"