Max Snaps

Unlucky John

A/N: Quick Author's Note, this is for an AU I learned about on tumblr, where Sam and Max adopt the Warners, although that part will only be mentioned. This is also technically for the Noir Max AU, if you haven't guessed, which will be much more obvious through this story

On the street corner stood John, a perfectly average looking henchman type. Just now he was probably waiting for a ride to take him to a worse side of town than this, or perhaps counting the money from his latest job, he could have also been standing there to set the mood and aesthetic of the street, something generic like that.

As John stood, out of the corner of his eye he saw some suspicious creature, a rabbit perhaps? It was white, with long ears, but from what John saw, it also had sharp teeth, and last John checked, that was definitely not a rabbit-like trait.

Now an upright walking rabbit-like thing with sharp teeth was not the weirdest thing you could find in New York, far from it in fact, they had Molemen for crying out loud! And John himself lived in an apartment just below a mermaid who played loud music all the time. How she got on the 45th 1/2 floor of a building was beyond him, so don't try asking.

The bunny creature was coming closer, he looked to be wearing a blue hat with a matching blue and black scarf wrapped around its neck. Although the supposed scarf looked suspiciously like a tie, a terribly wrinkled one might he add, as if it had been yanked out of some old pile of clothes.

The more the Lagomorph, John decided that was the best word for it, neared the more he picked up on small details, like the dead and empty look in his eyes, and the fact he was muttering to himself, John couldn't catch anything he was saying, but the Lagomorph seemed awfully passionate about whatever it was, feverishly moving his hands around with small gestures, and that mouth moving 100 miles per minute.

Suddenly the thing stopped dead in his tracks, letting out a small chuckle, then it grew into a louder one, progressively getting to the point he was full on hollering skywards at nothing. The creature was still a quite few feet away, but it spoke just loud enough for John to hear "heheh, that's a good one, pal", then he resumed walking

Unease crept into John, and it only grew with each step the Lagomorph took.

Oh geez, this guy was crazy John thought nervously, if John was lucky, the thing would just continue on it's way and bother some guy else, and then John could pretend this never happened, allowing these agonizing minutes to haunt his sleepless nights for the rest of his life, which something deep down told him would be a lot better than whatever this thing was gonna do to him.

But I guess being an average henchman type never really meant you were the luckiest person outside of the occasional off-screen job.

The Lagomorph reached John's space, looking up at him with those small, empty eyes.

Was that blood on his cheek??

John knew he should have been a Tree Surgeon

The creature tilted his head, examining him.

John gulped, fear growing, he figured he might as well put on the whole tough guy act, maybe that could scare the thing off or it could just get it to move on his way.

"What do you want, Punk" John asked "get out of here"

Normally that would be enough to spook off anybody, but the lagomorph just stood there, didn't even move, it was like he hadn't heard john at all.

"Do you think this guy could help us, Sam?" The Lagomorph finally said.

Who was he talking to?