Years of regrets, fear crept in a certain boy's mind have been bugging his whole existence and despite wanting to blink away his deepest vices, he just couldn't. Massive buildings surrounding his shadows as he walks his way to the nearest park from the hotel he was in.
It was a silent walk, with only his blurry shadow, and light steps towards the bench near a familiar ice cream shop. The guy silently walking while contemplating whether to go inside the shop, or just run away like he always does.
Like he always does when it comes to everything.
Never in his whole life he ever felt the guilt of being a coward for a cause, but there's one time. One time he ever felt the urge to yearn more of death to come quickly and take his breath away like how exactly he wanted. There will always be a first time in everything, and he was right. The first time he ever felt the guilt and regret mixed with every beer, or heavy drinks in the club every time he got the chance to free himself from guilt through alcohol beverages, letting himself taste different drinks with guilt mixed in it. The first time his heart being oblivous with his validation in life bcause of just one mistake.
And that one mistake will forever be crawling through his veins as he breathes; in or out, until he doesn't have the strength to do so.
"It's now or never, that's it," he heaves a sigh before closing his eyes firmly. "Jihoon."
He creates a thin line with his lips as he continue his pace towards the shop. He eyed his wristwatch, breathing heavily for the last time, before slowly opening the huge door of the shop. He was greeted with a busy noise of shop's staff, and different customers conversing.
"Jihoon! Here!"
He encountered a familiar pair of eyes looking at him, painting the latter's face a smile as if he's already okay.
Maybe he is?
He witnessed a beauty waving his hand happily as he point the chair across him. Jihoon stand stern, before heaves the ninth sigh of the day as he walks his way towards the smiling guy.
It's been 6 years since the last time he saw his most cherished love of all time smiling like the happiest man he always deserves to be. He never felt the lightness of his smiles once in a while, it was like his smile brightens not just his day, but the world rather, as a whole, because of how sparkly his eyes could be with his speaking eye smiles.
Nothing changed, it was the same guy he always admire with every piece of him. 6 years, and still him.
"I'm glad you're not that much busy unlike before, I was expecting you to get busier these days since your new branch opening is scheduled this sunday, plus wedding planning appointments. I'm happy that I could have some time with you, Mr. Park." He jokingly said as he fishes something out from his bag. "Thank you for your time, Hoonie."
"Nah, I'm not that busy. I can always make time." For you. He wanted to blurt those words out but he stayed still, not wanting to bring any awkwardness with the way they converse. "What's with the sudden meet-up? Did something happen?"
The older man smiled at him, and Jihoon watched the way his hidden dimples appeared beautifully. The guy in front of him slides a piece of paper before smiling convincingly sweet. Jihoon gazed at the paper, and it made him pursue his lips.
"I don't really know how to exactly organize events. And I remembered you, that's why I personally want to ask you if I can hire as our wedding organizer this coming July? Hoonie?"
Years and years of dealing with guilt and regrets, permeating with his milky skin and enhaling every scent of fear, Jihoon, felt his whole world stopped. It's as if his words somehow a reminder that Jihoon, was never the one he sought to love forever, until the end of their lifetimes.
