Peoplephobia

Chapter 5

Chpt. 5

There's a big difference between being 'just friends' and being 'friends that avoid each other because every interaction they have is incredibly awkward for no reason at all'.

Except I'm the one ignoring Kai.

Ever since the whole library thing, our eyes haven't been able to meet at all.
He's still trying to get me to talk to him, though.
I don't know if I want to.
But here's the problem.
He's everything I've ever wanted.
That's why I don't want him.

I don't know if I'm emotionally or mentally ready for a relationship, even if it's a friendship. I literally have no friends, and there's a reason for that. All I ever do is hurt people because of my own problems. And then there's also my dad...

This boy is perfect. And I'm not.

So I have no choice but to push him away, like I do with everyone in my life.
Laying on my bed, I realized I never did end up texting him.
I groaned, picked my phone up from my nightstand, and turned it on.
I tapped in his number.

My index finger hovers over the 'Send a message' button.
I let my finger fall down slightly, and then I hesitate.
What if he forgot who I am?
What if he doesn't want to talk to me?
Too late. I already tapped it.

"Hey, this is Tilly from the bookstore. You picked up my papers once? You probably don't remember me. Anyways, sorry for forgetting to text you."

Almost as soon as it delivered it said 'seen'.
I immediately saw the three dots in the chat bubble next to his profile picture.
"Hiiii! I'm so glad you texted me! I've been waiting forever, you know ;). Anyways, no worries! <3"
He certainly has a way of texting.
"Haha, yeah."
Seen.

I felt kind of stupid, sitting there expecting him to respond to "haha, yeah".

He seemed to be an expert at this, though.
K: So, anything else to you other than the fact you're an otaku? Hehe!
T: I don't know, I read. I write. I breathe.
K: The tiger bites! No need to state the obvious.
T: I dunno, I'm not very interesting.
K: To me, you are.
K: I wanna learn more about you.

How do I respond to that?

"I wanna learn more about you."

Those six words seemed to echo and pound in my head. I didn't even notice my phone had turned off until I heard a ping noise.
It was from Kai, and I opened it.
Is this real? I'm not dead, am I? Why am I having heart palpitations?

K: You should come with me to a nice cafe. I know a place.

Badump! Badump! Badump!

T: Like...like a date?

K: It can be whatever you want it to be. All you have to do is say yes. I'll pay and everything.

Oh, god. What do I say?
My face was heating up. I tapped on the keyboard.

"Okay."

I spent the rest of the night awake, my heart pounding and butterflies swirling in my stomach. There were thousands of them. This was a feeling I hadn't felt in a very, very long time.
I bit my lip and thought for a while.

Am I making a mistake?

I don't want to get hurt again.

My lonely heart that was covered in bandages was pleading yes, but my brain was screaming no.

I just want to be loved.

The next morning we chatted over text for a while, discussing where and when to meet up. He was planning on waiting for me at Amour De La Nourriture, which is a cafe in the nice part of New York. It's owned by a really sweet, old, French couple (and their granddaughter, she washes the dishes) who make the best food. They're pretty much my grandparents. Not actually, but I feel like it. They used to watch me when my parents were out being busy or something when I was younger, and they would always give me free samples of their ice cream. For how good their sweets are, they should really raise their prices even just a little. I mean, this is New York. Everything is expensive. I always try to convince them, but they never budge.
I roll off my bed, get changed, and head to the kitchen.

"Tillyyyyy!"

Bree was tugging on my sleeve.

"What do you want now?!"
"I wanna go to the yummy cafe tooooo~"
"Well, too bad!" I snapped.
Tears welled in her eyes and her mouth started slowly opening, as if she was about to start wailing...
I covered her mouth.
"No,no,no! How about I get you something from the cafe, just please don't cry!" I was not about to get in trouble by Mom.
Bree's "tears" dried almost immediately, and she gave me a devilish grin, as if she had won.

I sigh and tie my shoes.

"I won't be long. Don't answer the door if someone knocks. DON'T let out my cat. And do NOT burn the house down while I'm gone. Mom went shopping, so I'm supposed to be watching you. However, something came up."

"Hmm...sounds to me you're doing something you're not supposed to do!" Bree batted her eyelashes like a brat.

I gritted my teeth.

"And? Why do you care?"
"I could easily tell mom."
"How? She's not even home."
"Once she comes home, obviously."
I rolled my eyes.
"Brianna Mae Aether, you will NOT tell mom."
"Sure I will! Unless..." Bree said in a sing-songy voice.

I groaned.

"Come on, Bree! Why do you have to be so annoying?! What do you want?!"
Bree rolled her eyes.

"Along with the one thing you were gonna get me from the cafe, you have to get me ONE more thing."

I sighed.
"What?"
"You have to get me the Ultra Primicia!"
Ultra...Primicia?
My heart dropped.
I was fine, except for the fact the Ultra Primicia was not only the best tasting ice cream in the store, but also the most expensive.
The Ultra Primicia is a combination of the top 5 voted tourists' favorite flavors of ice cream in the store, with a pretzel cone drizzled in chocolate syrup, caramel chunks, and rainbow sprinkles. It was an idea created by Lucille and Leo's (the old couple) Spanish daughter, Naveah. She really only speaks Spanish, so she named it Ultra Primicia, or Ultra Scoop.
There are only five people who know what it tastes like. Lucille, Leo, Naveah, Naveah's daughter Maria who cleans the dishes, and a random customer who was lucky enough to know how to order it.
You're probably wondering what I mean by that.
There's a very special way you have to order Miss. Primicia (running joke in the cafe between Me, Leo, Lucille, and Maria) to prove you're worthy of Lady Primicia. When you ask for an Ultra Primicia, Lucille will ask you a series of questions about her and Leo, the cafe, the actual ice cream, etc. Answering all the questions correctly is very rare.
And Bree wants me to get it for her.
I don't even get any?!
I'm sure I got this.
I mean, I've been to this cafe since before I was born!
It just depends whether or not I can remember everything.