Date: March 29, 2006.
entry #2
It's been over a year since I came here in the orphanage without barely talking to anyone. It's not that I don't have someone to talk to. It's just that I chose not to talk to anyone. Well, I did talk to Dawn about three to five times in the past and our conversations were not even that lengthy. I just find myself straight cutting her off whenever she tries to ask me about my family and I know that just sounds rude on Dawn's part but on my end, Dawn is the one who's being rude for asking me about my family. Everyone who has asked and who's going to ask me about my family are rude for reasons unknown by them. Wow, it's been a year since I last wrote here and I am here again to tell you about something which would be: "Okay, you won and I lost, journal." And you know why? It's because I am going to tell you my story the way that I did not tell anyone because I think I will lose my sanity completely if I keep on not talking about my issues. I see you are a privileged old and miserable little pink journal. I killed my step mom. I know you did not see that coming. Yes, what I just wrote is right and that happening was not even by accident. I stabbed her in the throat using the nearest kitchen knife I could find during the night I turned seven. She was sexually molesting me for two straight years prior that night. I bet you didn't see that one coming too. My father was in the military since I was young and my birth mom died because of a car accident when I was about four(I don't know since I'm not quite sure). My father came home one day with Carla saying that she's our new mom. Carla has a child who's a year older than me named Abighail. Dad and she called her Abby and they said to welcome her as my new sister(I still actually have her picture and it's inside my backpack's back pocket). Carla was nice to us and Dad during Dad's one year stay at home. I couldn't even escape from the fact that I thought that we were once a happy family because we were, until Dad left us for work. Although Abby was being nice with me as an older sister, her mom wasn't. Six months after Dad left home, Carla started molesting me, touching my body parts inappropriately. At first, I wasn't fully aware of it until she ushered me to the shower and let me touch it and do it for her. Being a kid, I obliged while feeling very scared. I was scared of the things she told me. I was scared that she would get another man to do it for her if I wouldn't like what she told me and I wouldn't want that to happen to Dad. She just lost my mom. He's never going to lose another woman that he loves again. Wait, can you hold it for a moment, journal? I am sobbing and can't seem to write properly.
