Hold On to this lullaby even when the musics gone (Motionless in White and D.R.U.G.S FF)

You Make murder sound pretty (week 4 of the change)

I feel the pain Even before his fist makes contact. This is going to hurt. Badly. Biting my lower lip, I attempt to steel myself for the impact. "you're just like your Mother." He snarls at me like I'm a witch, or a heretic and I need to burn. His words feel like knives, and they are knives in the moments before his fists hit. The contact he makes with my face knocks me backwards onto the ground, and immediately I know whats coming next, and God I wish I didn't.  I wish he'd just killed me. Sitting on my stomach so it's impossible for me to move, he hits me some more.  I don't fight back, I've learned after he's broken almost all my fingers not to. Fighting never saves anyone anyways, it just prolongs the agony.

*****Chris Motionless*****

A ping goes off in the back of my mind, telling  me somethings definitely wrong. Looking  up from the song I've been working on, I glance towards the door of the Hotel...........Cassidy. Hitting the pavement running, I swipe the keys from Balz "Chris where you going?"he calls after me, dropping his bottle of mountain dew at the sight of me. My face must be that bad, I guess. Hoping up from my seat, I make my way out of the frount lobby , and jump the coffin carrier. Pushing the clutch into reverse, The car squeals back next to him, "Cassie needs me." and then I floor it forwards.                    I don't bother knocking, knocking is overrated anyways, and barge right in. I need to know that she' s okay, But what I find is definitely not. The man on top of her, all the blood. I mean it's not like blood is anything new to me, I've seen her beaten before, but this.... this is different. Anger swells in my chest like a tidal wave threatening to drag us all to sea, and I come at him growling. "I've come to scare you to death, because that's what you deserve." I side blind him and hit him hard on the side of the head. "You disgusting piece of-" I  wasn't  going to knock him down, AT FIRST, but then he hit me. We've been through everything, and we all earned our scars, we may be broken, but you cant kill all of us! Breathing hard, I hit him until I'm sure he wont be getting back up again, then turn to face her.

Blood so much blood.

*

"Where's your incentives?" grabbing my shoulders he pulls me against his chest, enveloping me in his familiarity. "What happened?" I let the list he starts grow longer and longer. And I let him ramble, staring at the white washed walls behind him all the while.  "I'll be Okay, is that what you want me to say?" I spit it out alittle too rough "And you were just about to tell me How you meant that you were sorry." The sarcasm is ripping me apart from the inside out I really dont mean to be harsh, but at the same time I really don't want to break apart either. "saying it'll be Okay is when your puppy dies, or when you accidently spill milk, it isn't for when--" I can't find the words to finish the sentince even in my mind. I can't meet his eyes either, so I look every where but there. " did he rape you?" suddenly me eyes latch to his "That sick pig!" Turning he starts to kick Lance, and it's not the playful type of kick, it's the bone shattering type.

The trembles kick in, I can't hide them anymore.

"Chris this isn't you!" I say so quietly I'm not even sure if it leaves my mouth."you're not this type of person." But then he turns and looks at me with a look of pure anguish and it breaks my heart. As if he wasn't blaming me or Lance even. the look was almost like he was blaming himself. That moment is the moment that I start to recognize the very trench we all dig in our hearts, and that this one is the deepest one yet.

*****Chris Motionless*****

She probubly will never forgive me for this. But for her murder can sound so pretty.