Hold On to this lullaby even when the musics gone (Motionless in White and D.R.U.G.S FF)

kocham cie ty moj wariacie (I love you, you are my lunatic)

*****Chris Motionless*****

Keep me dizzy, spinning circles around my head, believe me that it's worth the rush.                                                   Taking Cassidy in my arms I kiss her, and I can't tell if she can even tell what she's trembling about, Fear or love. But I'll kiss her anyways.Safe and whole, and alive in my arms.  All the while wiping the blood that cakes her face away. She rejects me,"What the heck Chris?" punching my chest not so kindly, she backs away.

 "You think it's okay to sweep in like.......like...fuckin' Superman and it'll all be okay? And I'd be your Louise Lane? " But she kisses me anyways.  

 " I know that you're scared, seems like someone said you had it in you, all along you said you knew this was wrong, but still worth dying for." I tell her between breaths, and I mean it.

*

 So much for breathing, my cloud nine fell from grace. Loss of everything, where is my identity?. If I could only find what is left me. So much for letting go when you have nothing left to hold. The words that slid off your tongue, my everything. Your nothing, I know that I don't mean much to you but you mean the world to me. Devotion, an undying dead. The harrowing, bleed you out of me, the "he said, she said" falsity.                                                                                                                                                      

   "Leave it be, I just want to go home." So much for letting go. I won't be dying with me, no not this time. Becoming by undoing him. Sacrifice, the ultimate devotion. So much for saving yourself. It can never be love. I can never be sold like the blood they call love. I am a stranger. I will not, I have not, I can never be like him. But I couldn't say a thing to Chris as he holds me, for fear that maybe he wont understand. He wouldn't understand the fact that I'm not like them, I never was. The demon's words swirl around in my head.

*****Chris Motionless*****                

She looks almost depressed with herself. "Yeah." I smile a little, "lets go home."  Reaching out, I take her hand and we head out of the house, and to the coffin carrier. "Well......to the tour bus anyways." Slowly I glance in her direction, and find her smiling slightly. thank goodness. I wasn't      necessarily expecting to find something so strange when I came into her house today. 

"Are you sure you want me to tour with you again?" she asks quietly. Snorting, I begin to laugh. Man, I cant handle how outrageously stupid she can be sometimes.   They Say that the night sings alone, but If there's a God, then I'm letting Him go all for you,and you alone, you ridiculously stupid girl.

 "Yes absolutely come with us. You might even run into  your brother then."      

*                                        

Sitting down across from Devin, I offer him my sweetest smile, and he moans. Which tells me he knows exactly what I want from him. Laying his head against his shoulder, he reaches a hand out, and allows me to hold it.Sighing, he nods, making me squeal in delight.                                          

"When music's soft enrapt'ing swell, delights thy list'ning ear, when zephyrs whisper all is well, and all thou lov'st are near, when skies are bright and thou art all, that thou wishes be," he continues on the poetry, and I love every moment of it, leaning against Kylie  I smile lovingly at them both. "How long has it been since your brother called?" Pausing I think a moment at her question. How long has it been since he called?"uh... A couple of weeks?" the thought is almost scary. Pulling my phone out with my free hand I shoot him a text.

ME:  Hey Craig wheres the tour got you?

Craig: England now. But I'll be home soon.

Yeah, that's what you said last time too. Feeling slightly defeated, I place it on the table in front of me. Sometimes I question myself why I even put up with him.  Or the fact I keep calling him.

*****Craig Owens*****           

"Should you keep blowing your sister off?" Lexus frowns at me. "Don't you think that'll effect her at all?" Matt snorts in laughter at her question. Obviously drunk. I have to refrain from punching myself in the face.

"I don't know....maybe? All I know is that I'm hoping to be home soon."  Shrugging I take another drink of my beer. Right? aren't we suppose to get back to the states again? I'm not even sure anymore, I'm not even sure if I want to. Glancing down at the list of bands we're preforming with the next couple months, I raise a brow at the name Motionless in White. A lot like Some song by Eighteen Visions. Huh.

***** Devin "Ghost" Sola*****

"So you're really going as Ghost now?"  Cassie asks me, almost excited over the fact, And quite frankly it's kind of cute. 

"Immmhmmm." I answer taking a sip of my iced coffee, and she nods acknowledging my answer. This is definitely one of my preferred moments with her. Well I like it much better then when she makes me recite poetry anyways. All is well that ends well I would assume.

"Hey you know what?" she asks suddenly, eyes wide. "We should go to the local food ware and buy more ice cream... you guys are out."She means Walmart. Our band's favorite store. 

*

Chris shimmies in next to me and raises a well drawn on eyebrow. "What?" I ask, a little confused on the fact. 

"huh? oh nothing." he answers halfheartedly which tells me he is thinking something. "No." i deny his petty attempt for him to deny what he was originally going to say. "You're a lunatic girl." he says it loud enough for everyone to hear then leans into my ear. "I think I might love you."

This for some reason gets me going, and I kiss him hard, which he answers with a kiss back. I want this.