ameliorate

chapter 21

breathing heavily, he stopped to inhale deeply. his lungs were running out of oxygen, so he needed to provide it. he looked around in the meantime, letting out a relieved sigh.

there was his hyung, sitting on the bench. he was gazing at the ground, his hair was ruffled due to the windy weather.

"i found you."

mashiho thought contentedly, slowly going forward.

the bench on which the older was sitting, wasn't void of purpose. on this bench, they retired after running one after another, as some kind of amusing play. also, on this bench jihoon confessed to him, and asked to be together.

on this bench, mashiho agreed.

"hyung-ah..."

jihoon lifted his gaze, making the possibility for the other to see how puffy and sad his eyes were.

"go away."

he said, looking away again, as if ashamed of his current state.

"i won't."

and mashiho sat down next to his friend. he didn't insist to look into his eyes or making any other physical contact. he just wanted the other to listen.

"i won't because i care about you. i care about you, your health, and your safety."

"but you care about him more."

jihoon interfered, emphasizing the word "him".

mashiho stopped for a moment, feeling the burning guilt inside him again.

"i am sorry."

the urge to apologize was too strong to resist. he felt bad for what he did to the other. their relationship wasn't bad, quite the opposite – mashiho was filled with love every single day.

"you are not the one to say sorry. this bastard should be here instead."

"hyung, no... it is not junkyu's fault. i... i wanted it as well."

"but why? why...?" the other finally turned face to face with mashiho. his lips were shaking, eyes exuding incomprehension and disappointment. "was i not good enough for you? have i done anything wrong?"

mashiho realized that he also was crying only when the tears started falling down his cheeks.

"n-no, you have never done anything wrong. you... you were so good to me."

jihoon chuckled softly, despite the tears that were constantly making their way along from his eyes, through his cheeks, ending up in the ground.

"i am sorry too. if everything was fine between us, it would never happen. something must have been wrong, but you are too kindhearted to admit it."

the other boy felt like a speech-impaired. jihoon was right, so he felt obligated to nod. he couldn't contradict.

at that instant his hyung got up from the bench, and wiping off the remaining tears, he offered his palm to the other.

"shall we go back now? i started being hungry, doyoung promised to prepare breakfast."

jihoon put on ensuring smile as if adding "it will be better now", so mashiho got up as well and walking hand to hand, they went home.

it will be better now.

// ✧ //