I walked in to see Alexander sitting at my desk, his smile showing some form of achievement. I rolled my eyes and walked up to him and slammed my bag on the desk.
"You're in my spot asshole. Move or be moved." I glared into his milky brown eyes.
"That's really not a way to treat your future husband Noel, I thought I would hear the words "I love you'' or "good morning sweet heart!" He smirked and he knew I was getting agitated.
I grabbed him by his collar and lifted him out of the seat "Look here Alex, I don't really care about our marriage and I don't care about you. Never had and never will." I threw him on the ground. He's not even in this class.
'You don't care about anyone." He said getting up and brushing dirty off his shirt.
He walked away as his words stung my heart, but I surpressed them to somewhere dark inside of me. Im sorry Alex... We had so much history. I pulled out my binder and pens and got ready for class. Today we were going over the basics of hazmat. In other words I'm going to pretend to care and pay attention.
I had no friends really, I was always alone. I didn't mind, everyone here loved the communism. They say it keeps peace and order, but does it really? I looked out to the window and watched as the troops practice turning water into deadly ice sickles that could cut diamonds. The shards hit the targets, piercing threw.
I watched as one girl hit all the targets perfectly. Her body moved with rhythm of the water, it was graceful. They were all graceful, and then there's me who sits here and does nothing. Pathetic and useless, just like this whole land.
Then my eyes moved to Alexander, I watched him as he pulled the water from the buckets and forced it to be ice. He was only about 5'10" but strong and had nice brown hair that swept the side. He saw me and smiled, waving at me. I looked away as pain struck my body, it wasn't physical... it was mental, but it still hurt.
It wasn't long until the bell rang and I packed my stuff and walked out. Right as I walk out, I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Noel.." It was Alexander.
"What.." I shrugged him off and walked out. "Leave me alone Alex."
Instead of stomping off like he usually does, he slips something in my pocket and leaves. It was a box.. a cigarette carton! I pulled it out and opened it, there were 12 cigs and a note. I stuffed the box in my jacket and walked home quickly.
I couldn't stop thinking about Alexander. We used to be so close, then my parents died and we grew apart. I shut him out along with the rest of the world. Remembering how happy he was when we were chosen for marriage... remembering how crushed he was when I ran away. While everyone else got to know their future lovers I hid. I left him alone.
The pain hit my heart and tears hit my eyes. I ran to my house and slammed the door behind me. I ran over and took out my hiding book and grabbed the bottle of pain killers. I took too and laid on my bed, sliding out the carton. Taking out a cig and lighting it I opened the note.
Dear Noel,
I don't understand why you can't except me back in. Why you push me away when I try to love you. Just let me in, I can take care of you.
Meet me tonight under the Locket Bridge.. around midnight when the guards change shifts.
-Alex
I inhaled the last of the cig and let the high take over my body. It was 1300 right now.. I'll probably wake up in time to meet him.
Probably.
I clutched the note in my hand and slowly drifted to sleep. The pills setting in a making me no longer feel the mental pain. Hopefully I won't die or hopefully I will. Fate is a funny thing.
