ʜᴏᴘᴇғᴜʟʟʏ

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'boys thank you so much for watching the stream, thank you for all the subs and donos, and see you all in the next stream, bye everyone!'

i heard tommy screaming from his room. I stepped up the stairs and knocked on his door.

'come in!' I heard him shout.

i entered his room and he looked at me suprised. He probably thought it was his mum or dad.

'oh hey y/n!'

'hey, you texted me to come over, whats up?' i asked.

'oh yeah!' He turns to his computer and taps on a few tabs. He clicks on an editing app and starts putting a few clips together.
'im posting a stream on my vods channel and i need someone to draw me a picture for it, do you know any good artists who could do that?' he turns to me.

'i know a few, but i doubt they could do it, they havent posted new art in months' i said.

'shit' he groans and turns to his computer. ' i need a new picture quick, or atleast in a few hours, and none of the artists that i usually ask to do them can do this one. fuck' he puts his hands on his face and groans in disapointment.

i lean over on his table looking out of the window.

i started thinking. What if i drew the picture? Ive always been kind of good at drawing, well atleast thats what my aunt would say, and i had a lot of free time, so i honestly didnt mind. But what if he thought it was ugly and he didnt like it? What if he was disgusted by how i drew and he wouldnt like me after that?

i dont understand. Why did i all of a sudden care so much about what tommy thought? I mean he is just a friend. Sure he is someone who makes me smile and laugh all the time, and everytime im around him i get butterflies in my stomach. But still. Why was i so worried about what he thought?

i took a deep breath in and turned to him.

'i could draw the thumbnail if you want, ive always liked drawing and i have a lot of free time, so-'

he turned to me and look me with his ocean blue eyes, full of suprise.

'really?' He mumbled 'you would really do that?'

'yeah why not?' I said 'i have a pretty cool idea in mind'

he smiled at me and gave me a gentle hug. I hugged him back.

'thanks' he said softly.

'no problem!' i said, still both of us hugging.

after a while i was sitting on tommys bed, drawing the picture on his ipad. He was on his computer, probably editing and texting his friends.

I tap on the ipad gently every once and a while. Im pretty sure it caught tommy off guard.

he looks at me and sees how focused i am. He gets up from his chair and sits right next to me on his bed. I was starting to color in the lines. He looks over a bit closer and gasps.

'holy shit, thats amazing y/n! he looks over.

'the hell? how can you draw like that? Thats amazing!'

i smiled and look at him.

'its not even colored yet' i tell him.

'still! Its still pretty with or without colors. Holy shit'

i continue to color with a smile on my face. He liked it. And thats all that matters. As long as he likes it, i like it too.

i color once again, while tommy stands up and looks around his room. He picks up his wallet and opens it. He starts going through it, with a few pennies falling on the floor.

it caught my attention. I loo up from the ipad and see atleast 8 pennies on the floor. He continues to wander through it, until he notices how i was looking at him.

'how much do you want for it?' He asks me.

'oh no no, im doing this for free' i exclaimed. 'You dont need to pay me'

'yes i do!' He tells me with his hand finally exiting the wallet. 'that shit is amazing, im not letting you do that for free'

'but i want do to it for free, honestly tommy, i dont need your money, thats generous of you, but no thanks' i say looking at him with a smile. He looks at me with his head tilted, and it was quite obvious that he really wanted to pay me. I mean dont get me wrong. Its really nice that he wants to show his appreciaton. But i honestly dont want him giving me money. I dont need it, i dont want it either.

He takes 5 pounds out of his wallet and shoves it into my pocket. I try to take it out but he put his hand on the pocket so i couldnt take it. I look at him, he looks at me back. Our eyes locked. I chuckled and felt how my cheeks got a bit hot.

'fine ill keep it i guess' i say , regretting it a bit.

'good' he says. He turns back to his computer and starts tapping a his keyboard. I smile once again, turning back to his ipad, and continue coloring.

after a few hours the drawing was done. I handed the ipad to tommy and i could see from his expression that he was proud. And honestly i was too. It was my best work. One of them atleast. He turned to me and smiled. He gave me another hug.

after we hugged i sat on his bed again and we talked. With us again making dumb jokes and laughing at every single one. I felt so much better when i was with him. everytime i was at home, my body would fill up with sadness, head to toe. And i wouldnt feel good about myself, i would cry until not a single tear would come out. But when i was with him, all of my problems faided away, and instead i would only feel happiness. I would feel special when i was around him.

i didnt think of him as a friend anymore, i thought of him as my bestfriend, and maybe in the future, we could be something more.
was this what having a crush feels like? You just wont stop smiling when your around that person? You would only feel happiness and joy. I didnt want this feeling to leave. I wanted it to stay forever. I wanted to feel this way until the day i die.

but of course i had to leave at some point. When i left and entered my home, the happiness would still be there, for a few minutes. I opened my room door and entered. I shut the door behind me and opened my phone. I typed into youtube tommyinnit, and started watching his vod. The one that i drew the thumbnail for. I smiled, and through out the whole video, i didnt stop.

i had a crush on him, and it felt good.

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     1203 words! ♡︎

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