Self-Conclusion || A Bucky Barnes Story [Future!Fic]

Chapter Two

"It's weird to not be in my time." James admitted, pushing a stray strand of hair from his face. "Steve tries, but sometimes he still expects me to be the person he couldn't save from that fall. He had trouble adjusting too. He just expects me to struggle exactly like him."

"Of course you wouldn't." I shook my head. "Everyone is different and your experience was obviously vastly different from his." I tried not to shudder thinking about everything that had been released online after the planes had fallen from the sky in Washington DC. It had sounded like something out of a science fiction novel. I had been so relieved that James Barnes had been found, and cleared of his crimes. Even though I didn't know him at the time, I knew it was the right thing to do.

"He's still learning." James sighed. "He just doesn't quite understand why I'm still suicidal when his was more of a passing thing."

"And do you?" I asked.

"Understand why I still feel suicidal? Sam and Bruce think that part of my brain is still trying to heal from-my past." He stumbled over those two words. "I also know that part of me still feels like I shouldn't be here."

"You feel like you aren't worth the trouble they go through for you." I murmured. It was like giving a voice to my own internal monologue. James looked up at me, surprised. "Trust me, I know a little bit about feeling like people shouldn't even try to help you."

"Is that why you wanted to jump?" He questioned.

"I'm twenty-four and still have to live with my sister. It's part of it." I admitted quietly.

"Have to?" James questioned, but then he stopped. "I mean-you don't have to tell me."

"Sharing is caring." I teased. James gave me a half-smile. "I was supposed to be in medical school now-" I started, but then we were interrupted by JARVIS's accented voice.

"Mr. Barnes, Allison Tillman is in the garage. Should I send her up?"

"Yes, thank you. Private mode, remember JARVIS?"

"Of course sir."

James looked at me. "You ready?"

"Nope," I took a deep breath. "It doesn't matter. I have to be."

James squeezed my hand before heading to his door, and opening it. I heard the elevator doors opening and I took another breath. James murmured something I couldn't quite understand and Allison's reply was cut short as she walked through the doorway and saw me.

"Adalyn." She rushed to me, hugging me so tight I could barely breath for the first time in about a year, before pulling back and glancing me over. "What the literal fuck Addie?"

"I'm fine," I assured her.

"Where were you?"

"On a rooftop in Queens." I admitted.

"What." Allison's voice dropped to a dead quiet. "Adalyn. You were where?"

"On a rooftop in Queens." I repeated, quieter this time. I could feel the tears stinging in the back of my eyes, but James' advice was still fresh in my mind. Tell the truth. "I-I was going to jump, Allison."

"Adalyn-" Her voice broke on my name as she pulled me back into her arms. I could feel her shoulders shaking. "You told me you were taking your medicine. You told me you were getting better. You promised me, Adalyn."

Allison's voice had steadily been getting louder. "You promised me you were okay! You told me you weren't feeling that way anymore!"

"It doesn't just stop Allison!" I snapped. "And I told you and Dr. Martin, I fucking hate that medicine. It makes me feel like a zombie."