Reflection On My Mental Health | MattyHealy-Story

Chapter 3.

The sicky feeling i recieve after my 4th cup of vodka tells me I've made a massive mistake here. And one i can't seem to stop now. But at the same time, the voice in my head is telling me to just chill out. It's my first night here. So what, I've slacked a bit. Doesn't mean i won't be able to gain self control again after this. I will. There's no reason for me to drink after this.

Another girl has joined us now. Sophie. She's far more wild than the usual type i call a friend. But since when can i be picky with friends? I'll go under anyone's wing who'll take me. She's actually hilarious. And far more drunk than the both of us right at this moment in time. Which kind of takes some of the guilt feeling off of me.

She continues going on, explaining the time her mum caught her and her boyfriend shoplifting. Which Meagn finds hilarious, and I'm left gob smacked. Why would anyone do such a thing. An the small lecture she recieved from her mum about it leaves me even more shocked. I'd of been put in hospital and grounded for life. She wants to count herself lucky she doesn't have my mum.

"And then i ended up getting this done..." she bursts into laughter as she sits herself up on the bed. Lifting her dress up to her stomach and lowering the waist of her underwear to show us a small, black heart tattoo near her hip bone. Turning to the side to show me with a nod and a grin plastered across her face - even though i saw it before. I nod with a fake smile.

Not that I've anything against tattoo's. I actually have one - obviously without my mum knowing about it. And it's not exactly one I'm proud of. I actually regret getting the damn thing. But - stupidity an drunken times is my excuse. I just can't get over how forward she is. Her boyfriend must have the patience of a sin to put up with her.

"You got any?" she brings her attention to me as i stare into my almost empty cup now. I nod.

"It's vile though" i laugh.

She reaches over for the bottle again, re-filling my cup "Come on then. Show us" she pours my drink, but keeps looking up at me to show her.

"Just do it. She'll nag until you do" Megan warns me.

I roll my eyes, grabbing my bottom lip and pulling it down to reveal my inner lip tattoo.

"Wholy shit!" Sophie beams excited "What's it say?" she brings herself closer to get a better look.

"Be a riot" i shrug. "And long story" i tell them before they get me to go into the whole story of what it means and the fact i got it because me and Luke used to argue constantly. And it's just something we'd say to each other when we knew the other was going to start an argument.

"That can't be real" Megan cringes over at me, Making me chuckle. Looking like she's going to be sick.

"Course it is!" Sophie answers for me. "My boyfriend has one there too" she pulls her lip out, still staring at mine.

"You look too..." Megan trails off.

"Innocent?" i fill in the gap for her. Knowing what she'd say. She nods then laughs. "Everyone has a past" i explain sheepish.

"Oo, this sounds interesting" Sophie shuffles on the bed asthough she's getting herself comfortable.

My phone rings again, For what must be the twentieth time in the past hour.

"Is that your ex again?" Megan asks, looking across at my phone as i place it back down on the bedside table. Still ignoring it. He will get the hint, eventually.

"Let me get it next time he rings!" Sophie chelps in with an offer.

The door suddenly bursts open followed with a deafening noise of rowdy guys.

"Here he is" Sophie squeals, trying to hurry off the bed in her drunken state to get to them. I keep my head down. Already feeling uncomfortable just with these two as company.

"Saved you this" Megan shouts across to one of them before she throws a full bottle of wine across.

I dare myself to look up. Suddenly wishing i hadn't as soon as i do. It's the rude hooligans from outside earlier. All still dressed the same. Only now, they all reek of alcohol - not that i can talk. But they've clearly had a skinful.

One of them makes his way over to my bed where me and Megan still lay making no effort to move. I think I'm too scared to.

"Alright?" he greets her then slowly brings his attention to me. Sitting a little too close to me for my liking. "Who's this then?" he asks Megan. Like I'm not actually here, but then his gaze is on me. Looking me up and down with a smirk. Leaving me scowling across at him. Dick!

What the hell does he want.

"Don't even try it George. So not your type" she flings herself off of my bed and joins the rest of them near the door. Leaving me in the most awkward situation I've ever been in.

"Pass us that glass" he asks, rudely. Pointing to the glass near my bed. I reach other and pass it without even as much as a glance at him.

I hear him chuckle. And i know it's aimed at me. But i do my best to ignore him. It's not exactly him i have this hatred feeling towards from earlier. It's that other one. With the long bushy hair. He's the one who was being a dick earlier. But then again, i have that off feeling with this one too. Something in the pitt of my stomach telling me to stay away from them. All of them.

Which may be a bit harder than i first thought as i soon see Sophie practically layed all over the long haired one. Their faces attatched and rolling all over the floor.

"So, are you Meg's roomie?" I don't have chance to answer.

"Show him" Sophie's back at my side, with him this time - before i even realise.

"What?" i look up, taking another moutful from my cup.

She giggles "The tattoo. You both have the same one"

"I doubt it's the same" i shoot back. Becoming defensive quickly.

"Well i mean the same place" she grabs his hand as he stands beside her. But he's soon trying to brush her off for some reason. Completely giving her the cold shoulder and not even looking at us to join in the conversation he's supposed to be in. See. Arsehole.

I don't just get these feelings towards people for no reason. I like to think I'm a good judge of character.

"Alright. Can we go already?" he shouts out suddenly and stomps towards the door alone. Leaving Sophie left stood, a little unsure on what to do. I look up, offering her a symapthetic smile. I know exactly what arseholes can be like.

"You coming to the party?" Er, George i think Megan said he was called - asks me.

"I don't think i have a choice" my eyes dart to Megan. Meaning i know she won't let me stay in tonight.

He nods with a smile. And a little ease floods through me - strangely. Making it easier now to look at him. "Don't look so nervous. They're not half as bad as some people make them out to be" he chuckles. Finishing up the last of his drink before standing.

What does he mean by that? Them? Or the parties?

I nod to myself. Not really sure whether to believe that or not.

"George" he bends down slightly, holding his hand out to me.

I smile a forced smile up at him "Melanie"

He nods down at me "Catch you later then"

"Right boys. Out. Girls gotta get ready!" Megan shouts out to the rowdy lot as Sophie grabs a hold of my hand and drags me to the wardrobe.

Oh god. I know what's coming...

"I don't do dresses!" I warn her before she has the chance to even look for one for me to wear.