AN: We're now back to Yukio, 1st person.
I woke up who-knows-how-many hours later in the hospital. Sitting next to my bed was Rin and Mephisto. They were talking quietly. Probably about me. My face felt wet, and I went to clean it off when I realized my wrists and ankles were bound to the bed.
"You're awake," Rin commented, not looking directly at me. I didn't know what's happened, but it had to be bad. He was staring somewhere around my midsection, trying not to make eye contact.
"Nii-san, please let m-"
"Do what, Yukio? Apologize to the girl you killed? Tell us about how this is all some mistake? Lie about your stupid test results one more time, just for kicks?"
His voice was angry and rightly so. But the girl I killed. I killed someone? Had the flames made me...
I even muttered out loud, "I killed someone?"
Mephisto nodded. "A girl about twenty years old. I believe she was actually one of your clients for your doctoring work down there."
Rin was clenching his fists, and I shut my eyes. Mephisto was almost amused, if I had to guess by his tone and his attitude.
"We'll leave you to your own devices now that we know your mind and your body are intact." That was Mephisto's voice, naturally.
I killed someone. Someone innocent. Someone who was just...there when I couldn't control my flames anymore.
I had ended someone's life, and I still dared to call myself an exorcist.
It was two more days until I was allowed without the straps to my bed during the day. My room was isolated, and they only let me talk through a bulletproof (and hopefully flame-proof) window in my room.
Rin came to see me on day 5. He didn't look like he'd slept at all since I'd lost control.
"Nii-san, I-"
"Don't talk. I just wanted to tell you that there's a substitute teacher for your exorcist classes, and you've been excused long-term from normal school due to a family emergency."
I was quiet through this whole thing.
"Only your students, Mephisto, the bastard, and the exorcists who were at the scene know about your flames." He paused. "And Shura. She agreed not to report it to the Vatican unless you become a threat again."
"...Thank you, nii-san."
"They're also putting you on some meds. Anxiety, depression, and sleeping pills. They should help you like my ADHD ones do."
I stayed quiet this time. Rin wasn't looking at me. He was acting as if he were just reporting facts. I didn't want to force him.
"I need to go to practice with Shura. She'll probably come visit you tomorrow."
He stood up and got ready to go.
I'd never taken regular medication before, except when I was sick. I guess this feeling was being sick. The feeling I got whenever I noticed my reflection on the metal door. I stared into my own eyes, and I didn't see myself. I wasn't anything. I didn't deserve this - to be around these people - who I tormented with just my presence.
"Talking" to Shura the next day wasn't even really talking. I started talking to her and went quiet, trying not to cry.
"I guess I was right after all, four eyes, that there was something going on with you. Got all fired up, eh?"
But it only took one look for her to sober up and stop trying to joke with me. I was semi-thankful that she had tried.
"I'll be back to see you when I get a chance, and after they open up your room for visitors again."
That night I cried. I had lost everything because I had been proud enough to believe I could control the thing that I now belonged to.
