one step further // haikyuu x OC

what comes with crutches // 27

That day became a blur. The pain I tried so hard to hide made my brain fuzzy. Before leaving for the hospital with Coach Ukai, I collapsed on the way to the infirmary. The worried voices of everyone around me muddled together in a mind fog, and before I could register what was going on I was suddenly being carried. At first I couldn't tell by who; I had to keep my eyes closed to control the dizziness, but from the familiar smell it must have been Asahi.

Shouyou refused to leave my side, poor guy was worried to death. No matter how much I tried to console him or reassure that I would be okay, he still fretted. So turns out I had a guest to take to the hospital. He carried me on his back to Coach's car, into the hospital, even all the way to the hospital room - even though they were ready to transport me in a wheelchair. He was so gentle when setting me down in seats before moving us to the next area. It was embarrassing, but it also made me feel good. Warm, I suppose is another word for it. I had never been cared for so meticulously before. The thoughts of what he did made me toss and turn for most of the night afterwards. That, and the pain in my heart.

I let them down, my team, my friends... I let everyone down.

Not only guilt, but anxiety stuck on my brain too. How long until my dad found out about an injury and tried to take me out of club? Even with proof of Japanese citizenship and insurance they almost didn't proceed with anything without my dad's permission. Coach Ukai somehow persuaded them to go without it. Still not sure what he possibly could've said to convince them.

I rubbed my sore palms on the floor of the gym once school ended, I was crutch-bound for a while. Doctor's said I was lucky that I hadn't been injured worse than I was. Got off with some severe tendonitis and a small fracture. The real kicker was that it wouldn't have fractured if I had given it a real break after first rolling it off of Tsukishima's foot. No weight for at least 10 days. Then slowly incorporate weight as I can handle. So no volleyball for almost a month. Not like it mattered anyway. My team lost - that's what I learned in that meeting the next day while sitting in the gym. Michimiya gathered the team and gave a heartfelt speech about the tournament ending, the third years retiring. And girl's volleyball club activities wouldn't happen until the new captain got enough new members for a team. There wasn't even noise to fill the painful silence, the guys had already left for their first games of the tournament.

The girls surrounded each other in a group hug; and gave me well wishes and words of sympathy. And I faked a smile through it all, but cried as I crutched home by myself. I didn't have it in me to go watch the boys' games. My brain went into stress and sad overdrive. Thoughts bouncing from rethinking choosing Karasuno, wondering if volleyball at Shiratorizawa would've gotten me farther, then feeling guilty for thinking so selfishly. It was a vicious cycle. I had to make bounds with volleyball, or I would never be able to get back to America, back to my aunt. I had to carry on her legacy and be a player at the university she starred in, it was my way of showing gratitude for her raising me... Soon enough I fell asleep a worried mess - the pain meds the hospital gave me made me sleep through texts and phone calls all night. Shouyou's voice outside my window the next morning woke me in a hurry.

Apparently, they were wondering where I was the day before. I clung to the back of Hinata's bike on the way to school as he happily retold the accounts of their wins from rounds one and two.

"I'm proud of you guys." I said, not as excited as he was expecting, but I think he understood.

"Does it hurt today?" He asked, moving the subject from volleyball. My balance wavered as he went over a small bump.

"A little. But the hospital prescribed me some effective pain meds." The conversation piddled out after that, at one point he caught me from falling off his bike when taking a sharp turn. He told me to hold onto him instead the seat the rest of the way, and I flushed with embarrassment the whole way to school.

My crutches - it seemed - were going to attract more attention then I would've hoped for. I thought that the first day with crutches would've been it. But members of my class were still coming up to me and asking how I was and helping me with every mundane thing. Yamaguchi and another boy, Kojima Subaru, were basically glued to my sides the whole day. They were nice, so I guess I didn't mind. I found it odd that Kojima took this opportunity to talk to me so much, he mostly associated other members of the class - like the girls who refused to talk to me and gave me dirty looks - but I didn't think much of it. I didn't really care. Maybe he was just a nice guy.

Tsukishima avoided me for the most part. I was still mad at him, so I was fine with it. That is until I got a bad feeling right as lunch was called. He asked to talk to me in the hallway - alone. My stomach irked.

"How can I help you?" I said sarcastically, trying to bury my somersaulting gut. He wouldn't look at me, instead fixated out the hallway windows and sighed.

"I don't think we should be friends." He said lowly. Bluntly. No easing into that one, huh? The negativity I felt towards him yesterday immediately disappeared, well maybe not disappeared. More like it morphed into other negative feelings. I wanted to yell at him "Why?!" "What did I do?!" "Does this mean you really do hate me?!"

The rubber handles on my crutches croaked with my tightening grip. Tears stung my eyes as I turned and awkwardly crutched back to the classroom door, sliding it open harshly. "Fine." Was all I choked out before leaving him there with my hurt feelings. At least Shouyou came to keep me company, even though he was still complaining about my class change, he was determined to continue our usual lunch breaks. He was working really hard to put a smile on my face, being more dorky than usual. I'd say it worked. I laughed before a voice interrupted us.

"This seat taken?" It was Kojima, I furrowed my brows at him as he pulled up a desk and sat right next to me. I shot a 'is this guy serious?' look at Hinata, before shrugging my shoulders.

"I guess not. Welcome to lunch, Kojima." I said, barely feigning friendliness.

"Oh please, Toshiko. We're classmates! No need to be so formal~! Call me Subaru." He laughed and leaned towards me, expecting me to find it funny as well.

Is he crazy? Or just overly friendly? I barely know you but you want me to use your first name?

"Oh..." was all I mumbled before awkwardly continuing my meal. Shouyou brought me a home lunch again. I secretly hoped he wouldn't make a habit out of it, I'd feel guilty. Then again there was another part of me really enjoying it. His mom made great food. From the all too loud silence coming from Shouyou, I could tell he felt awkward too. My eyes stayed glued to my lunch, but I felt Kojima scan over me and Hinata. Of course he had something say.

"That's cute! Your bento is the same as your brother's!" The guy laughed again. He really thought he was hilarious.

"Hah?" I said, becoming annoyed. I just wanted a normal lunch, who was this guy coming over here talking out of his ass just because he can?

"She's not my sister?" Hinata said with a tilt of his head. "We don't even look alike..."

"Oh is that right~?" Subaru cooed, almost mockingly. "Well you two can't possibly be dating!" That. That phrase was what got me pissed off. I interrupted Shouyou before he could say something first.

"And what makes you say something like that?" My voice could barely hide how annoyed I was. It's like this dude was speaking just to talk nonsense.

"Oh because!" He smiled, suddenly sweet and innocent. "I would be jealous!" My jaw dropped.

"What...?" I mumbled. "What do you mean, Kojima?" Then he looked at me through his long, dark eyelashes. Dripping in flirt. Where did this even come from?

"Isn't it obvious? I find you cute, Toshiko."

....What the hell?