Love?

7

"What did he do?" Louis asked upset as he came running into the hallway. He immediately hugged Harry and rocked him back and forth. "I'll fucking kill him!"

Harry just cried his heart out. This was where he belonged, in Louis's arms. As soon as he had managed to pull himself together Louis lead him to the living room and pushed him down on the sofa before he took a seat.
"What happened?"

Harry sighed and dragged a hand through his hair.
"Nothing happened Lou. Jonah was very nice to me."

"Why are you so upset? Don't you want to find someone?" Louis asked.

Harry realized that he had to tell him. He drew in a shaky breath.
"No, Lou. I want this. You, me, and Rory." He said quietly.

Louis looked confused.
"You already have that. Don't you want love?"

Harry stared at him in disbelief. Could he really be that oblivious?
"Are you blind Lou? I love you. I'm in love with you." He almost shouted.

Louis's mouth fell open and he stared back like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Since when? We have always been friends Harry."

Harry sighed and looked down at his hands.
"I know. It has always been there underneath the surface for me. Since we had Rory I haven't been able to ignore it any longer."

"But...I...I don't know what to say Haz. I need some time." Louis answered.

"I know you don't love me like that. It's okay Lou, but I don't think I can do this anymore." Harry said quietly, eyes filling up with tears again.

"So what are you saying?" Louis asked.

"I'm gonna move home again." Harry answered, tears spilling over.

"What? No! What about Rory?" Louis gasped and started to cry as well.

"We'll figure it out. We're always gonna be her parents Lou. A lot of people have joined custody." Harry answered.

"But that means that we won't see her every day." Louis said.

"I know and that sucks. I'm so sorry Lou. I wish I didn't feel like this. I wish that things were different but I'm breaking apart and I wouldn't be able to be a good dad to Rory if I stayed here." Harry replied.

"What about us? You're my best friend Haz!" Louis pointed out.

"I can't. I need some distance, Lou." Harry said.

They just stared at each other in silence for a moment, tears rolling down their cheeks.
"I'm gonna go to bed. I'll leave tomorrow. Can I take Rory with me? It's easier considering I'm the one who brings her to work on Monday. I can drop her off after work and pick her up again before bedtime. It's not ideal but then we both get to see her at least."

"I...fuck, yeah." Louis answered, having trouble finding anything to say. Harry had dropped a bomb on him and he was in shock.

They went to bed in separate bedrooms and neither of them got any sleep. Harry cried until he couldn't cry anymore. He got up early and packed a bag.

Louis just laid and stared at the ceiling the whole night. He was so confused. He felt numb. How did this happen? He never thought that Harry could love him like that.

When Rory woke up he got up and changed her diaper. He was like a zombie. His brain didn't work. When he walked out of his bedroom with Rory in his arms. Harry was waiting in the living room and Louis's eyes immediately fell on the bags on the floor. Harry was really leaving him.

He could see that Harry had been crying. That made his heart clench. Harry should always be happy. Making Harry smile and laugh was something that had always been one of his greatest joys in life. They walked into the kitchen in silence and Harry made them breakfast. Like he always did. No more Harry in his silly apron by the stove? His brain couldn't comprehend that.

They are in silence as well. Louis didn't know what to say and Harry seemed to have said enough. They cleared the table together, like they always did. Harry gripped the sink and hung his head down.
"I'm gonna go now."

Louis wanted to scream out loud. He wanted to beg him to stay but he couldn't do that to Harry.
"Okay." He said in a monotonic voice.

Harry turned around to look at him.
"I'll bring Rory here tomorrow after work. We'll come up with a schedule of some sort. Okay?"

"Okay." Louis answered automatically.

He picked up Rory and hugged her. He didn't want to let her go.
"Lou, you're a wonderful dad and I would never keep her from you. I hope you know that?" Harry said emotionally.

"Yeah, same. I mean...you know what I mean." Louis mumbled in a restrained voice. He kissed Rory on the cheek.
"I love you, sweetie. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He said softly before he handed her over to Harry unwillingly.

Harry went over to the living room to get his nag. Louis followed them to the hallway and held Rory while Harry put on his shoes and jacket. Harry gave him an odd look.
"Can you dress her?"

Everything seemed to be going in slow motion but Louis managed to put on her overall. Harry took her again.
"Bye Lou."

"Bye." Louis whispered. He just stood there and stared at the door after Harry had left. The apartment felt empty. He decided to try and get some sleep. If he slept tomorrow would come faster and he would see Rory and Harry again.

He turned around and walked to his bedroom but took a left and entered Harry's room instead. He laid down in the bed and hugged one of Harry's pillows. It smelled like him. It comforted him. He hadn't even noticed that he was crying. His head was chaotic, hazy. He couldn't make out what he was feeling. He missed Rory, and he missed Harry. His eyelids were getting heavy and soon he was asleep.