did you mean it? // dreamnotfound

chapter seventeen

song suggested: ykwim?

"I love you, but i don't think you really care about me."

love.

"George i-," Clay tried to speak.

    "i knew i shouldn't have gone to that party." George spoke.

    The shorter brunette walked off and made his way to the lunch room. Clay was there, in the grass, sitting in disbelief. It was his fault. He really didn't know why he said all of those awful things. George meant a lot to him. Clay really cared for the brunette, but it was to late. There was absolutely no fixing it this time. He'd said everything in front of most of the school. Everyone already knew.

    Alex and Karl were relieved to see their best friend walk into the lunch room. Eventually the boy made his way to the table and sat in his usual seat. Of course, Sapnap was there as well.

    "Where were you? I was kind of freaking out for a second," Karl spoke.

    George sat in silence for a moment. He needed to quickly regain sanity so he wouldn't burst into tears at the thought of Clay.

    "I wanted space. So i went to the back of the school," George answered.

    His friends nodded.

    "Then Clay came back there. He tried to apologize saying 'I don't know what's gotten into me' and all of that. So i told him to save it and i walked away."

    George wasn't going to mention the last thing he said. However, it would have been the truth. George really did love Clay, but he couldn't stand saying those words out loud right now. It'd break him for the 'hundredth' time today.

    Sapnap moved his hand from the table and to George's back. He rubbed circles into his back to comfort the brunette. Everyone could tell he needed it.

    George quickly grabbed his phone and pretended to do something on it, just as he did earlier. The other 3 couldn't tell why, but then found their eyes leaning towards the cafeteria door.

    Great. It was Clay. 

    The dirty blonde couldn't tell if it was a good idea to sit at the table with the rest of the others. He decided he would try anyways. He usually sat next to George, but instead sat next to Sapnap. It was for the better.

    Strong and angry glares focused on Clay. No one was happy with him, clearly.

    "Should i g-," Clay tried to say.

    "What do you think?" Alex muttered.

    Clay began to grab his things and walk off, but someone else spoke.

    "You're fine," George said.

    Everyone's attention turned to George. What did he just say?

    "Just let him stay, please."

    Clay began to sit down again. The glares obviously weren't leaving. He didn't know what to do or say, so he spent most of lunch on his phone. What else was there to do?

    Eventually the bell rang. The last 15 minutes of lunch seemed to last forever. Alex and George made their way to their next class while the others separated.

    Sapnap and Clay had their next class together, but they usually skipped it. Clay took advantage of the time and asked Sapnap to skip so they could talk. The other boy didn't want anything to do with his best friend at the moment, but he knew it was most likely going to be about George. The two headed to the bathroom and leaned against the wall. An uncomfortable silence filled the area. The two had none each other for so long, yet even this made it awkward.

    "So? Spit it out already." Sapnap spoke. He wasn't having any of it. He was on George's side with this whole thing.

    Clay stood there for another second. Trying to figure out how to out his feelings into words.

    "I just don't know what happened Sapnap," He finally spoke.

    Before the dirty blonde could continue, his best friend cut him off quickly.

    "You don't know what happened, Clay? You wanna know what happened? You told everyone that George means absolutely nothing to you and that he's a loser. No one would ever want to be seen with him. Does that ring a bell Clay? Hm?" Sapnap snapped.

    Clay was surprised and sort of hurt by the words. He deserved it though, and he knew that.

    "Well, i know that Sapnap. I just don't know why i said those things. I didn't mean any of it. It's like, they just came out of fear. Couldn't tell you why i'm scared, but i was. I don't know if it's because of Schlatt, or my parents." Clay spoke. He began to stutter harshly but eventually began full sentences again. "I just don't want to hurt him anymore. This isn't the first time i've done it. I seriously don't know why i said those things, and that's why i need you to help me."

    Sapnap stood in silence. He wasn't planning on making eye contact with Clay until he heard a quiet sniffle. He made eye contact with the slightly taller boy he called his best friend. The boys eyes were glassy and a tear slowly made its way down his face.

    He meant it.

    Sapnap wiped the tear off of Clay's face and began to speak to him.

    "Look, Clay. What you said was pretty messed up. Like, really messed up. But you have to stop letting fear take over you." Sapnap spoke softly.

    "That's why things like this keep happening. If you truly have feelings for George, don't let your parents or anybody else's opinion get in the way. Hide it from your parents if it's that bad, because i know how they are, but stop letting them get to you."

    Clay nodded as wiped the tears streaming down his face. He hadn't cried this hard in a long time, and it made him feel better from finally letting them out. Sapnap hugged Clay before the two moved their attention to their phones. There was no point in going back to class, it's not like they were ever there or anything.

    It was finally the end of the day. The group met outside the school and talked about their day. George was unusually quiet, but it was understandable. The other two gave George a few concerned glances while speaking to one another to make sure he was okay. Sapnap made his way over to the group and stood next to George.

    Clay was the last to arrive to the groups spot. No one was really complaining though. He's the reason George was about to break right outside of school.

    An idea came across Clay. It may have not been the smartest, but he wouldn't regret it if he pulled it off right then. He slowly walked over to George, grabbing the shorter brunettes attention. Clay cupped George's face with his hands and have gave him a soft smile. George didn't know what to do. He liked this, but he was still mad at Clay.

    Instead of Clay moving in first, George took his idea and kissed him.

    The two gained many's attention, but they could have cared less in the moment. Clay peeked around to see everyone staring, even a few recording. He proceeded to move one of his hands from George's face and stick up his middle finger. No one else's opinions mattered in that moment. He then moved all of his attention back to George.

    Clay didn't have a care in the world right now. He was happy with what he had.