Time After Time (a Stranger Things fanfiction)

Can't Fight This Feeling

"Can't Fight This Feeling"

I can't fight this feeling any longer

And yet I'm still afraid to let it show

What started out as friendship has grown stronger

I only wish I had the strength to let it show

- REO Speedwagon

Hopper walked into Melvald's with a bag from McDonald's and two Diet Cokes, holding them up with a grin in front of Joyce.

He was happy to see her face brighten at the sight of him—not just because she was glad to see him, but because she was so much lighter and more cheerful than she had been at any time since he'd come back to Hawkins. With Will safe and Lonnie gone and her renewed goal of being the best mom she could be, she was thriving, finally being the person he had always hoped she could be.

"You read my mind. I was starving, and just thinking how much I could use some hot greasy fries." Leaning over the counter, she dug her fingers into the bag and emerged with a handful of fries, tucking a couple into her mouth. "Mm. So good."

"I was thinking it was about your lunchtime, and we haven't had a chance to catch up in a while."

"Let me just lock up the register." She led him to the back, where they could eat without being seen from the front of the store but she could jump up if a customer came in. He doubted one would. Ever since the new mall had opened, business was lagging badly downtown. Accepting a Diet Coke from him, Joyce took a long drink. "Man, I needed that. Those kids really do keep us busy, don't they, Hop?"

He nodded, smiling. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

"Your girl looks good."

"So does your boy." Hopper hesitated, chewing and swallowing a fry before adding, "So do you."

Joyce ducked her head in that way she had. "I'm just a mom."

"You're a great mom," he told her.

"Thanks. I'm trying. You know, I think Will is taller than me now?"

"That was always going to happen. Shorty."

"Hey!" She glared at him over her burger. "You're such a bully."

"Yeah, but I'm trying to reform."

"El—Jane's not letting you get away with anything, is she?"

"Not if she can help it. Hey, you want to do another pizza thing sometime?"

Joyce nodded, her mouth full of French fries. She washed them down with the Diet Coke. "Yeah, let me just check with the boys and see when they're free."

"You know ... if you wanted, we could get Jonathan and Nancy, or that Harrington kid, to babysit, and you and I could go out, have some wine, talk about old times ..." He thought he had pushed too far too fast, because her eyes widened in something that looked like panic. She took an extra big bite of her burger to avoid having to answer. Hopper tried to lighten the suggestion, make it sound less like a date and more like old friends hanging out. "It could be fun to get away from the kids for a night. Maybe see a movie?"

"Hop ... I'm not ready. I almost lost Will, twice, and now I just—well, I see the way Jonathan is. He has his own life. He's out half the time and the other half he's with Nancy, and I know it won't be long until Will is, too, and I just—I don't want to miss a minute of the time I have left."

He understood. He really did. Mike was underfoot so much he felt like he barely had a moment with El, and he tried not to think about how quickly she was growing and how soon she would want to be out on her own. But it was hard not to be disappointed. While he didn't want to push Joyce, he wanted her to see him as someone she wanted to be around, someone who made her happy.

"I get it," he said. "Really. If you change your mind ..."

"You'll be the first."

The door jingled as a customer came in. Joyce took a last long sip from the Diet Coke, and bundled her burger wrapper up and dropped it in the bag. "Thanks, Hop. You're a lifesaver."

She hurried to the front, and Hopper cleaned up, disappointed but not daunted.

Joyce watched him go as she was making change for Mrs. Delman's purchase. "Thanks. You have a nice day."

"You, too, Joyce."

When the door shut behind the customer and Joyce was left alone in the familiar confines of the store, she breathed a sigh of relief and leaned her elbows against the counter. While she knew the loss of traffic due to everyone going to the mall was problematic, and didn't spell good news for her long-term employment, it was nice to have the place to herself.

She wondered about Hopper. With Eleven at the cabin, she wouldn't have thought he'd want to go anywhere without her—but then, Eleven couldn't really leave, and maybe Hopper was feeling cooped up. Thinking back to the number of women he'd gotten himself involved with during his first couple of years back, Joyce wondered if he was feeling restless.

Well, he was out of luck if he wanted her to do anything about that. Bob had been—a surprise. A magical surprise, dropping into her life when he was the last thing she had been looking for. And because of that, because of her, he was gone. It would be a long, long time before Joyce felt up to getting involved again, or before she could even think of that without seeing Bob's body with that ... thing on top of it.

No, she thought, shuddering, Hopper was barking up the wrong tree.

This time, she was relieved when the door jangled and a few kids from the high school came in. When your thoughts contained literal horrors, there was only so long you could comfortably be alone with them.