Love My Neighborhood

Chapter Six: Break my Heart Freak

A/n: Did yall enjoy the last chapter as much as I did? Anyways true to my word, here's another chapter!

Last night Jared tried to justify his past unhealthy relationship attachment, and as a person majoring in psychology it should've made sense that he reacted the way he did, but as the fiancé, it hurt. It really did. That's probably why I stormed out of our apartment. Another mistake as a future psychologist, but an A+ and quite cliché human reaction. I needed space and I needed time. In the span of a few hours I learnt that my soon to be husband omitted vital information about his childhood and teenage years and that he experienced what chart topping songs are made of, not that I was jealous, heartbreak isn't really something I want to experience again, but I was angry that I was learning this when we were engaged. 

I know I didn't expect to learn everything about him before marriage, but I'd like to think that he knows pretty much all the things that shaped me into the way I am, all the major life experiences, loves, and just the things that make me think the way I think and act the way I act. The method behind the madness if you will. So as I'm sitting in my car, eating the takeout McDonalds breakfast I just got, I tried to sort through my feelings so that when I face Jared again we can have a reasonable conversation that doesn't involve me walking out a third time, because I'm trying to be a mature adult, who's first reaction isn't to escape when I'm hurt or drowning in my emotions. 

Sighing, I grabbed my phone and saw 26 missed calls, 53 messages, 7 voicemails and 4 emails from Jared, if it wasn't such a serious situation I would've laughed. Deciding not to drag out the inevitable any longer, I turned on the car and made my way back home.

Jared was angry. No, scratch that he was furious.

As I parked, I barely had time to grab my bag before he all but yanked me from the car eyes blazing with hell's fury. "Why would disappear for the whole night Jessie?? Are you crazy?!" He bellowed, gripping my shoulders, "Do you know how worried I was, do you know that I stayed up all night thinking about the worst possible things that could've happened to you??"

"I sent a message to show that I was alive and that I wasn't coming home so that you wouldn't worry." I pried his hands off my shoulders and stepped away from him to put some space between us. He groaned out loud and took a deep breath as if trying to push his anger down.

"Jess, you walk out mid conversation, and I think you're just going to clear your head so I didn't stop you, next think I know is that I get a text from you saying, 'wont be back home, dont stay up' at one fucking a.m. and think that I wont be worried, are you dense or just dumb." 

It was time for my irritation to spike, all the thoughts of being a mature adult was burned to a crisp when my anger took its place. "Well I'm sorry that I didn't want to sit down and listen to my fiancé talk about how the love he had with his abuser was so great and precious and amazing and just fucking perfect!!" I screamed slamming the car door and shouldering pass him. 

"YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO KNOW EVERYTHING!" He yells after me.

Swinging around, I yell right back "I KNOW AND THAT'S WHY IT SUCKS SO MUCH AND I HAD TO GET AWAY." Continuing on my mission to our apartment,

"Fuck.." I hear him mutter, then his footsteps are following me. I don't dare turn around, I refuse to show him how scared I am about this situation. It all screams heartbreak waiting to happen. I refuse to show him my tears filled with with annoyance, anger and sadness. 

"Jess." I ignore him. 

"Jess please." I continue walking, I may have increased my pace, but at that point I just needed to get away. I stop. Both my running thoughts, and brisk walking. Jared confused by my abrupt stop also slows his pace, stopping a few feet's away from me.