Pity for the Insane

Not Enough

This whole chapter might as well be a Trigger warning. Attempted suicide.

Note: This is the second to last chapter of this story.

"You really are an awful person"

"We trusted you"

"Look what you did"

"Monster"

Anti sat at their graves in the front yard.

He could still hear their voices.

He knew they were criticizing him.

Disgusted with him.

They had become so close.

Why did he snap the way he did?

And now, he couldn't take it back.

If he hadn't killed Henrik, maybe they'd still be alive. Henrik could have connected to Sean somehow and gotten them away from Anti.

But it was too late now.

Their ghostly eyes bored into his back.

"Always knew we couldn't trust you" Jackie's voice growled above him.

"I defended you" Chase spoke sadly, "I even begged you to stop. Why couldn't I get through to you in time?"

"You got what you wanted" Henrik blankly scoffed, "And you dare to feel zhis way."

"Your guilt is an insult" Marvin shook his head, "For what you did to us, you should feel a million times worse. The pain we felt. . ."

"You could never imagine" Jackie clenched his fists, "And here I thought we were starting to get along. How foolish of me it was to let my guard down"

"I'm sorry" Anti whimpered.

He hadn't stopped crying since he remembered.

All the blood, the gore. . .

The way he acted.

Why had that happened?

Did he just force down the tendencies so much that it overloaded and took over?

No, he shouldn't blame something like that.

In a way, he knew what he was doing.

But what they said in his head was right.

If he meant to do it, it was an insult to feel guilty and sad when he didn't even know the pain he put them through.

"I deserve to go to hell" Anti sobbed again, "I deserve to rot. I deserve to be tortured. You're right"

He looked over to the Jackie he remembered. Even if he wasn't actually there, he imagined he would be scowling at him.

Anti cowered pathetically, "Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry . . . . . You've always been right, Jackie . . . Y-you've always been right"

'We should have listened to him' Jameson signed, 'We shouldn't have given you the chances we did'

It hurt so much. What he did to them.