A Lost Cause

Daydreaming

I often wonder what he is doing right at this moment, my brother. What he looks like now, if he's got his own house, what his family now is like, what his likes and dislikes are. What he is like. Who he is.

But thinking about that just makes me angry. So I try to avoid those thoughts.

--

A week has passed and I've pretty much gotten used to just about everything. I've gotten my emotions pulled together. But if anyone brings up the accident, that's when I'll lose all control and break down in tears.

"I'm enrolling you in school and you'll be starting tomorrow." My mom says.

"Do I have to?!" I complain.

My mom looks irritated with me now. I've been giving her a lot of attitude since the accident.

"Mhmm. You do. Now go get ready, we're going out for lunch." She pushes.

I get ready but I don't really care about my appearance today. I just want to go back to Utah. See my old friends. Go back to my old school, see my old house, sleep in my own bed but I can't.

My mom and I go to this weird restaurant. I don't know what it is called but it was good.

All around me I hear German. Luckily, I'm still fluent in the language so I can understand and communicate with other people. I even think in German too..

--

I get up in the morning and get ready for my firs day of school. This is going to be chaotic. And I'm scared. What if people make fun of me? What if I get into a fight. If I don't think about it I'll be fine. I have to walk no matter how far it is.