Movie Recommendations/Reviews

Now You See Me

1h 50min

Categorised as Crime, Mystery and Thriller by IMDb
(IMDb rates it at 7.3/10 with 600k reviews)

Summary: Illusionist criminals do some clever shit.

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Wow, just, wow...just wow...
 
       There's plot twists, there's crime, there's justice being served, there's me crying at the end of it. I already kinda love magicians and then they fucking combine it with crime? Fucking amazing.

        I love the atmosphere the movie creates. You're always questioning if someone has done a trick or not. Is that soda can full of cola or cocaine? Who knows!

        There was one plot twist that I totally saw coming but then the movie convinced me that I was wrong, and then the plot twist was there and oh my god, somehow I didn't expect it.

        There's a lot of characters that you can fuel your anger towards.
        One main character is just so chill. He has my utmost respect. I'd so love for him to be my friend, it'd be so fun and probably helpful.
        One other character is one that I could talk about forever, but I'll leave that to the end.
       Then there's one other dude who I didn't really care about from the start, but grew to like.
   
     It's just a brilliant movie. I definitely recommend watching it. I even watched the credits because I couldn't really bring myself to officially end the movie.

I know that this review's shit but it's not like I get paid for this or anything.

(Just adding on: the sequel is kinda the same except maybe more boring. The girl had to be changed, and while I guess I dont hate the replacement, I dont really like them either. Still have a raging heartbeat afterwards and still love the tricks they do, especially all the card throwing things.)
 
  

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Alright, you had enough of rational speech, how about I give you some shit that doesn't matter at all to this review?

~

    I just love magic tricks because yes, I know it isn't anything supernatural, but at the same time, I kind of don't want anybody to explain the tricks. It's just a wonderful feeling when you realise how smooth and quick and shit the magicians have to be, to succeed in the tricks, and how much time and effort they've probably put into it, just to baffle a few people.
 
~
  
   Fucking Jesse Eisenberg. God damn it. I clearly have a fucking type and I really hate it because I can't really think when I see a guy that I find attractive. It makes me want to scream at myself. Infact, I had to scream with my mouth shut multiple times, because I realised how hard I'd simp for Daniel (Jesse's character).
        Like God fucking damn it. I was so fucking jealous when Daniel carried Henley bridal style. It was platonic but I mentally hit myself for how much of a stupid rat I am. Holy fuck I want Daniel to catch me when I fall from somewhere high.
   (You might have noticed I switched to 'Daniel' instead of 'Jesse', that's because I'm in love with Daniel's personality as well, which is completely made up. Also this is already creepy enough so I dont need to advance to the next level by talking about a real person who I know nothing about.)
     But holy fuck I still can't process Daniel. Just, fuck. This is why I can't say I don't find guys attractive, because holy fuck I do. The fact that I get overly emotional when watching movies doesn't help.
     Holy fucking moly. The way he gets jealous, fuck. You probably can't name a single thing I don't like about him. Fucking fuck. I'm so fucking stupid. I'm just like every basic bitch for this but I can't help it.
     I literally feel like I blush everytime he's on screen.
     Fucking bitch ass fuck. My only coping mechanism is swearing.
    This literally has nothing to do with the plot or anything anymore.
    Also I just now realise that he might or might not use the name James or something because his full name is
'J. Daniel Atlas'.
    I can literally feel my head shaking because my heart beat is in my right ear.
    I constantly felt like I should hide my face from below my eyes so no one would see the stupid smile I had.
Here's the thing: I watched it in my room. There was nobody else there. I was just so fucking embarrassed by the reaction Daniel caused in me, that I-...I don't even know anymore. I'm just stupid.
     I hope to someday cause someone to act the same way I did, whenever Daniel did anything.

~

The only question everybody probably has considering the sequel is:
   

Has my simping for Daniel reduced at all?


    No, not even the slightest bit. The sequel probably made me realise how deep I'm in this. It really does not matter if his beautiful, flowing locks are gone. I still can't operate any better when he's on screen.

   He also wears glasses in one scene, which does not help at all in me being able to calm my heartbeat.

   Then he's angry in some scenes which makes him look really...uuhhh...I don't want to say the word, because I've said to myself that I just don't see any people in that light...it rhymes with...ummm...rot. Because my brain is rotting away. It doesn't do good to your brain to think about ho-...no I did not say it...I meant...uhh...aaahh...
hot...dog
 
  Yeah it's completely normal to basically thirst over hooooo....guys...thirst over guys... And I have no idea why I feel weird and creepy saying the word, when about everybody uses it.
  
I would use the temperature-checking-whatever-its- called-emoji, to help you understand what im talking about, but the temperature on the thing is like at 0 so it doesn't really work.
 
I guess, imagine what a fire feels like if you lay in it. Now fill in the blank:

Angry Daniel is really ___.

Did you guess it correctly? Because I feel like Dora, literally spelling it out for you.
 
  Daniel just has my heart with being the little shitty control freak. He's most likely that one kid in the back who's like

"Well, ACTUALLY..."

or

the kid who sits next to you, who always coughs the answers as soon as the question is asked, but he does it so quietly that only you can hear it, and afterwards when he's right he smiles at himself smugly, while looking kinda down at his desk and tapping his pen to the desk pretty silently with the lead part pointing upwards, like as if he's really bored, and he clearly intends you to see him smiling.

  (And as the plot starts, you get put into a pair to do some class project with him and the first thing you say to him is something along the lines of
"So you're the smart guy, huh?")

   Sometimes you just have to put the incredibly detailed pictures you have in your head, to words.

  ~

Anyway, I'm gonna either go make myself attracted to words on paper, or, make myself horny.
   The latter one makes me less sad afterwards so I may go with that.
*insert finger guns that somehow are self-deprecating*

~

I don't know why you're here anymore. Just go watch the movie or something.