Drama Club | kth.jjk

49.

"Mum, I'm gay."

Taehyung takes a deep breath, awaiting for the screaming, crying and anger filled match to start. But no, it doesn't happen. Instead, he slowly feels his mum pull away from him, looking up at him with teary, glazed eyes. She lets out a deep, and ragged breath, "I always knew you were," she mumbles, stepping away.

"What?" Taehyung asks in confusion.

She sighs, fixing her hair a little bit, looking everywhere apart from Taehyung's calculating eyes. "I always had a feeling. Especially after you met that boy, Jungkook. The way your eyes twinkled when you introduced him as I was off to work. I knew you weren't just friends, and even if you were, you definitely didn't see him as one."

Taehyung is taken aback, he steps forward, "then why didn't you bring it up to me mum?" He asks desperately, a sudden, fleeting moment of hope arising in his chest. She sighs, "at first I didn't want it to be true. Losing my one love, and then my only son to homosexuality. But then I thought about it, and...yes, it hurt but I didn't hate your father for being gay, I hated myself for not accepting it."

"And Taehyung, I know, I know, that I haven't been the best mum for you. I..was never their for you. I drowned you in these horrid thoughts of hating on people for no reason," she continues desperately.

"I need help Taehyung. I need to talk to someone. I need to get this off of my chest," she cries out.

Taehyung doesn't realise it, but a single tear rolls down his cheek as he realises the pain that his mother must be in. The last few months, he should've noticed that she wasn't doing well, that she was losing herself more in work because her past was finally catching up to her, especially with the sudden realisation that her son might be gay, just as her husband was.

"You can talk to me, you...I admit mum, we don't talk, in fact, I'd avoid you just so that I wouldn't have to talk to you, but I see where I went wrong and I'm so sorry that...that I never, ever thought about the pain that you were going through," Taehyung pleads, searching his mother's eyes for any sign that she was understanding his words that came deeply from his heart.

She takes her son's hands, and holds them tightly in his, "you were the best son I could've ever had," she whispers, cheeks flushed, voice almost at a serene tone, "it was I, the one being a bad mother. Taehyung, tell me...why do you like him?"

At first, Taehyung thinks that she's joking - pulling at his leg harshly, that in the next second she'd wipe her tears away, pull out the biggest grin that she could muster and taunt at Taehyung, tell him that she was joking and could never love a son that was gay, just as she couldn't love a man that was gay.

But no, she really wanted to know.

Looking into her desperate eyes, Taehyung saw that it was a genuine question that she wanted the answer too, and only Taehyung could answer that question, because only Taehyung knew what it was like to love the blonde boy named Jeon Jungkook. The angel sent from heaven to bless Taehyung's dull and dim life, turning his every day in to a day filled with so many smiles, a day that, in one way, could be better than any amounts of diamond and pure gold.

Taehyung takes a deep breath, "when I see him look at me, all I feel is my heart racing. Like he's the only thing that matters in the world. As long as he's standing right in front of me, I can be happy. As long as I can touch him, I don't need materialistic things like money, or fame. I just need him. Because he makes me, me. After what I thought I could never find for the rest of my life, I found it in him. I found myself in him, with him, happy. I love him. Jeon Jungkook."

His mother is silent as she looks up to her son, and she notices the glazed look in his eyes, the slight red tinge in his cheeks, and the fact that, even in this saddening moment between both son and mother, thinking about Jungkook brought the corners of his lips to raise in a lovesick smile.